Sex And Vampires
by Daddy's Little Cannibal
Summary: The summary is NOT fanfiction appropriate. You'll have to read it in the first chapter. This is the long awaited replacement for When Life Gives You Lemons - not a sequel or a rewrite. BXE Filled with lemony goodness and a plot. Complete.
1. This is War

**A/N: **Ha! Yeah the summary isn't fanfiction appropriate. That was _REALLY_ embarrassing. But I'm sure I got a lot of people's attention. I said I would write this story and I am. It's an actual _story_ **not** a one-shot. I mention this in _When Life Gives You Lemons _(another story like this) and it's finally here. I can't believe that the summary is so bad that I can't put it on the summary thing in fanfiction. That's so embarrassing.

**Summary:** Bella and Edward have a contest between each other – who can make the other orgasm first every time they have sex. BXE More than just smut, an actual story _not_ a one-shot.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own _Twilight_.

**Sex and Vampires**

It's not like having a vampire as a fiancé (for lack of a better word) was a bad thing. It had its advantages; ok it had a _lot_ of advantages. But there were some disadvantages, like the fact that he was extremely good at _everything_, and I mean _everything,_ that he does. It was embarrassing when we got _intimate_ with each other, because I'm always the first one to finish. It's like he has a cheat sheet implanted in his brain that tells him what to do and when to do it, it's aggravating especially since we were both virgins when _he_ decided to drop all of the boundaries.

I banged my head on the steering wheel to my new car – another disadvantage of having a vampire as a fiancé (still for lack of better word). He was over protective, not just over protective, obsessively protective, you would think after he realized that I'm not as breakable as he thought he would trust me more, but if anything he's became more protective. He bought me a car that has _missile_ proof windows, because we all get attack by missiles on daily basis.

I pulled myself out of the huge tank that was disguised as my new car and walked the short distance to the Cullens' house. They were out hiking for the weekend. Edward stayed behind to keep an eye out on me and to celebrate our new found intimacy. We had the whole house to ourselves for the weekend, of course Charlie didn't know about this. Alice, much to Esme's distaste, told Charlie that I was going to stay the weekend with her.

Edward opened the door immediately before my fist even had a chance to hover over the door. He smiled at me brightly, his topaz eyes shining. I smiled back at him, everything that I was complaining about before melted away. He was so beautiful as he held out his hand. I took it graciously, willing to do whatever he wanted.

"I like that top on you." Edward complimented. I looked down and blush. It was a simple white tank top that Alice bought for me.

"Thank you." I smiled up at him. "Alice got it for me."

"Did she?" He asked his eyes still shining. "Did you bring anything or are you going to stay in that dress the whole time." He shot me one of his famous crooked smiles.

"Um…" I had to think about it for a second. "Yeah, it's in the trunk, I was afraid to lug it to the front door in case you thought that it was too heavy for me and got angry."

He ignored my latter remark as he stepped aside and went to get the bag from the trunk of the car. I didn't want to tell him (out of embarrassment) that I couldn't lift the trunk to my new car. It was one of the very few days that the sun was out from hiding so like always his skin sparkled like millions of diamonds were implanted in it. I took a stab at my self esteem as I stare at him as he easily lift the ten pound trunk door open and pulled out my bag without any effort. He closed the trunk with little effort as he carried my bag over his shoulder to the front door.

He grabbed my hand with his free hand as he walked me into his empty house. With a house as big as this, it was haunting to know that Edward and I were the only ones in here for the whole weekend. He smiled at me as he turned me around in the middle of the media room, his lips quickly connecting to mine. He wasted no time to pick up where he left off last night. I could feel my knees grow weak as he opened his mouth and ran it over my bottom lip.

I was the one to pull away. My breath was heavy and came out in gasps. He smiled at me before he trailed kisses down my jaw to my ear. I was almost positive that if he kept this up, my knees would collapse and I'd fall to the floor. His cold breath was hard to ignore as it hit my ear. Shivers ran my back and I quickly grabbed onto Edward so if I my knees did give out, I wouldn't hit the floor immediately.

Edward chuckled lightly.

I rolled my eyes. This is exactly what I was talking about – he's too good. He could just stare at me and that would be enough. He has no idea – ok maybe he does – what he does to me. It's like having a professional musician in a band filled with beginners, he out shows them all and they're left breathless and embarrassed.

"We should get you to bed." Edward whispered in my ear. I glanced at the clock.

"But it's only five o'clock." I told him pulling away from me. I wasn't even remotely tired.

"I know." He smiled at me.

My eyes widened when I realized what he was getting at. My mouth made that 'oh' sound before I followed blindly behind him. He made sure to grab my hand so I wouldn't wander off as he led me through the twists and turns of his house and into his room where his-our bed laid in the middle. He got the bed especially for me, so we can do things like this – not that we used the bed very much, we usually didn't make it that far.

I sat on the edge bed and watched him curiously as he walked toward me, taking off his shirt as with each step. He made his movements slow – he says not to scare me but I think it's because he thinks it's sexy when I watch him strip for me. He smiled at me as he captured my lips in another (literal) breath taking kiss. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he pushed my back onto the bed so he was lying on top of me, I smiled against his lips.

His hands went up my shirt, his cold hands freezing against my hot skin. His tongue grazed my bottom lip again; I opened my mouth timidly, accepting his tongue. He quickly pushed it in my mouth and rubbed it against my tongue. I blushed as I pushed him closer to me. His thumb ran over the fabric of my bra, making back arch involuntarily.

Edward pulled me to sitting position his lips never leaving mine. He finally pulled away quickly and grabbed the hem of my shirt, pulling it over my head. I took advantage of this moment to catch my breath. Edward put his lips onto my neck when my shirt was over my head, I continued to try and catch my breath as he licked and nipped at my neck. His cold hands worked on the back of my bra trying to unclasp the clasps.

"I hate these stupid things," Edward whispered against my neck when he finally got the first one unclasped. I smiled to myself as he worked on the second and last clasp. Maybe Edward wasn't good at _everything._ He had trouble with female attires, namely my bra. He finally unclasped the second clasp and my bra sprang forward, the straps fell down to my elbows, exposing the tops of my breasts.

He looked up at me and smiled triumphantly. I rolled my eyes but smiled back. He was really cute when he did little things like that. He moved away from my neck and wrapped his lips around my nipples. I fell back onto the bed. He was quickly making up for not being able to unclasp my bra. His hands ran down my stomach and grabbed at the waist band of my blue jeans. He tugged at them before unbuttoning it.

I hid my face behind my hands, blushing hard as he unzipped my pants for me. I could feel that familiar tingle as he pulled at my waistband letting my pants fall over my bottom to my knees. I continued to hide behind my hands as I focused on trying to breathe. I separated my fingers and looked for Edward he wasn't in front of me anymore. I pulled myself onto my elbows and looked around the room for him; he was nowhere to be seen.

"Edward." I asked the empty room. "Where are you?"

A low chuckle came from behind me. I screamed as I turned around and saw Edward on the other side of the bed in his silk red boxers, his head propped up on his hand. He gave me a dramatic wink before pointing at me and then motioning with his 

fingers to come and lay next to him. I rolled my eyes childishly before awkwardly crawling across the bed towards him, my hand holding my breasts. He rolled his eyes as he watched me.

"You act like I've never seen you naked before." His voice was aggravated. I continued to crawl awkwardly towards him, ignoring his remark. He rolled his eyes again before reaching for me and pulling me on top of him. I let out a low yelp as I laid across his chest, my nipples touching his.

"I would have made it." I mumbled into his neck before kissing it.

"Yes but by then_ I_ would have been asleep." Edward remarked sarcastically. I frowned at his remark and pulled away.

He smiled at me before kissing my frown. I didn't change it – no matter how hard it was. He kissed it again as his hands crawled under the waistband to my panties.

"You know these are my favorite on you…" Edward told me. I blushed. I did know that, that's why I wore them today. He kissed my lips again as he pulled my panties' waistline over my bottom. I didn't even know notice they were gone until he was holding them in his right hand. I frowned at him before scrunching my eyebrows together. He smiled at me. "I'm saving these for later." He finally informed me.

I blushed and buried my head into his chest. That was the most awkward, embarrassing, and slightly erotic thing he's ever done. I kissed his chest when he flipped me over so he was on top of me. He kissed my lips lightly before I felt him at my entrance. I wasn't sure how he removed his boxers in the mere second that it took him to flip me over, but he did it. Then again as I thought about it he did a lot of things that confused and somewhat scared me.

He thrust into me quickly, I could feel my back arch violently and I nearly rammed my head into his chest. His pace was increasingly slow (for him) and he was gentle as he thrust in and out of me. My nails dug into his back as the pleasure ran through my body. He continued to thrust in out of me as I closed my eyes and enjoyed the ride. I was going to orgasm first this time…again. I could already feel my stomach tighten as I wrapped tightly around him.

"Edward," I whispered into his ear. He growled lightly. I ran my fingers through his hair and moved my head up to kiss nibble at his ear. "Please come for me Edward." I begged not wanting to be yet again the first to orgasm.

And as if God himself was listening to my words, Edward Anthony Masen Cullen came. I was europhic as his body started to shake and he let out a noise I've never heard him make in my life. He unwillingly released into me. And I couldn't help but smile as I mentally danced as he held himself over me. His hand hung as he recovered from his orgasm When he finally recovered he gave me a mocking glare.

I moved my hands from his hair and held them up pretending to be innocent.

"You did that on purpose." He growled.

I shook my head. "I didn't think it would work." I said giddy. I couldn't hold my excitement. He growled at me before kissing me his thrusts starting again. He was the only person that could recover so freaking quickly. I moaned loudly as I felt that familiar feeling build up again and I grabbed onto his back.

"Oh god!" I screamed as soon as he released my lips. My back started to arch and my body shook as I closed my eyes and opened my mouth. I tightened my grip around Edward and tried not combust with the pleasure that I was feeling. My back arched violently and I pushed myself against him as my body shook with my release.

When it was over, I fell onto the bed, my breath coming out in loud gasps. Edward kissed my forehead and pulled out of me. I continued to try to catch my breath as I lay on his bed, my heart pounding.

"You know what this means, don't you Bella?" Edward whispered threateningly in my ear.

I shook my head.

"War." He told me pulling away from my ear so I could stare at him.

"What kind of war?" I asked fear gripping my body.

He smiled. "You'll just have to find out, now won't you?" He kissed my forehead again.

I frowned at him. "I'm scared." I told him.

His smile grew. "You should be."

**End Chapter.**

**A/N:** So the first chapter is done. I promise that it'll get hotter with the later chapters. I have a lot of hot ideas for this story. _When Life Gives You Lemons_ got 50 reviews its first night. If this story does just as good (or better), I will update tomorrow, if it gets close to that I'll update Saturday. ALSO! Check out my MySpace. If you haven't already added it, you should! If you have added it, TALK TO ME! No one answers my bulletins or sends me messages or comments. It's depressing. :(

Daddy's Little Cannibal


	2. Hostage

**A/N:** Jesus Christ on a bicycle! Now let's review all my other stories like we did this one. Jesus people! It's crazy! I'm in shock! Sorry I didn't update yesterday I was trying to get over my shock of how many people like this story. I knew it would do better than WLGYL but not this good. I hope that you like this chapter. I had a lot of fun with it. :)

**Disclaimer:** I don't own _Twilight_.

**Hostage**

"This is cheating!" I complained finally understanding what Edward had meant by war. While I was sleeping he had tied my hands above my head onto the headboard. It was needless to say that it was embarrassing to lay naked under my fiancé's watchful eye.

"All is fair in love and war." Edward quoted an over use phrased as he kissed my cheek.

"But I didn't agree to this war!" I continued to complain, regretting ever deciding to make Edward cum before me.

"Don't make me get the duct tape Bella." Edward threatened.

My eyes widened and my mouth dropped. "You wouldn't." I dared him. Edward raised an eyebrow before smirking. He left the room, leaving me strapped to his bed – still naked. "Edward!" I screamed at him feeling more self conscious then I ever had before. "Edward, don't leave me here!" I fought against the rope that bound my wrists. It was a matter of seconds before Edward came back with a roll of duct tape. My face fell as I stared at his smirking face. I was _really_ regretting ever making Edward cum before me.

Edward climbed on top of me his knees on either side of my stomach. He made sure to position himself so he wasn't crushing me. He pulled out a long piece of the tape before ripping it with his teeth. I shook my head violently not wanting to be silence by my psychotic vampire fiancé.

"Hold still." Edward complained grabbing my chin with his free hand. I stuck my tongue at him so he couldn't put the tape over my lips. He rolled his eyes before mumbling something about it being easier in the movies. "Why can't you make this easy for me Bella?" He asked.

I pulled my tongue back in my mouth to say something when he decided to take advantage of this. He put several pieces of tape on my lips making it impossible for me to lick it off. I glowered at him as shock filled my body. He was good. He was _very_ good.

He smiled at me before crawling off of me. I stared at him as he walked around to the front of the bed, spinning the roll of duct tape around his pointer finger. He was fully dressed and I wasn't. He took off his shirt to reveal is very hard chest to me. I squirmed a little holding my knees together so it didn't look like I was interested in what he was doing to me. I thought about closing my eyes so it looked like I didn't want to see him, but the truth was I did. I was enjoying this no matter how sadistic and slightly derange this situation was.

Edward laughed softly to himself before he climbed back onto his bed, dressed in his boxers. I didn't remember seeing him take off his pants but that could have something to do with the fact that I was strapped to his bed. Edward hovered over me, his knees on both sides of my stomach and his hands on both sides of my face. He kissed my lips through the duct tape. I growled at him when he went back for another kiss. He laughed softly.

"You'll enjoy this Bella," his hand grabbed my breast. "Trust me." He ran his tongue over the side of my neck sending shivers down my spine. There was no doubt in my mind that I wouldn't enjoy this. But it wasn't the matter of enjoying something or not. It was the principal that I was the one always on the receiving end and he was always on the giving end. It was aggravating to know that I couldn't do anything to please him.

I was brought out of my thoughts when I felt a cold tongue graze my right nipple. My back arched and I closed my eyes trying my hardest not to enjoy the shocks of pleasure that was running through my veins. No one could do things like Edward could – not that I had much experience outside of Edward but I had a feeling that he was one of a kind.

His left hand started to play with my left breast as his right hand traveled down my body to my entrance. I groaned against the duct tape when I felt his fingers enter me. My eyes closed tightly and I was fighting against my restraints my knees raised in the air and my toes curled. His cold fingers mixed in with my warmth became too much to handle but he didn't seem to care as his thumb grazed over my clitoris.

I pushed my head against the bed and raised my back in the air as he moved his lips to my left breast. My toes curled into my feet again, as my back continued to arch. I started screaming into the duct tape the pleasure becoming too much to handle. This is what I was talking about when I said he was good at _everything_ that he does. My eyes started to roll in the back of my head as I mentally begged for him to stop.

Edward pulled away from my breast before moving up so his lips could kiss my neck. His tongue poked out and started to run over the pulse in my neck. My hands tightened around the rope as I felt my body shake for the first time today, my back arch pushing me into Edward's chest. I closed my eyes tightly as I felt a tear roll down my cheek. All the muscles in my body tightened as my body shook harder, Edward never removing his hand from my womanhood.

"I like your orgasm face." Edward whispered to me before kissing my cheek. I gave him a dark look as I breathed heavily through my nose. He chuckled lightly to himself as he started to kiss my ear his teeth gently biting on the lobe. I moaned loudly into the duct tape. "I love licking you Bella," Edward whispered in my ear. "You taste so sweet."

I stared at him as he moved his head away from me. My eyes widened in the horror of what I knew he was about to do. We have never been this _adventurous_ before so the thought of him licking me down there was scary. I shook my head my eyes still wide. He nodded. I shook my again before clamping my legs together. He chuckled softly before easily spreading them and getting between them so I couldn't move them back together.

His tongue was cold as he flicked my clitoris. My eyes widened and my toes curled again. I grabbed tightly to the rope, ready for another intense orgasm. I yanked at the rope that held my hands as Edward wrapped his lips around me. My leg muscles were flinching as I twisted and turn against the rope. Edward growled lightly against me, sending even more shocks throughout my body before holding my hips to the bed.

I arched my back – the only thing that I really could do with Edward holding me onto the bed and my hands tied over my head. I closed my eyes and tried my hardest not to scream – no matter how much I wanted to. It didn't take long before I felt that familiar tightening of the stomach, the spasms of all the muscles in my body, and the mind blowing shaking of my body as it released its fluids. I let out a loud moan against the duct tape as I held my breath, my back arching and my eyes tightly closed. I didn't have to fantasize about anything with Edward – he was my fantasy.

Edward pulled away from me for hopefully the last time for the time. He smiled at me knowing that he was the reason for pleasure. He gave another low chuckle before he crawled on top of me again. "This is the last one for the day," he promised kissing my cheek. I gave him a dirty look before I felt him at my entrance. This I didn't mind because we both get something out of this. Besides I liked it when Edward was inside of me.

He let out a low groan as he entered in me. I let out the same groan as he pulled out and in again. The pace was faster than he usually allowed. He moved his head from my cheek and started to kiss my neck, continuing the pace that he had set for himself. I took advantage of this and pulled lowered my jaw. The tape slowly stopped sticking to my mouth. I pushed at it with my tongue, trying to pull it away from my mouth so I could encourage Edward with words.

A could hand wrapped around my mouth pushing the tape against my lips again. "Don't even think about it, Bella," Edward whispered into my neck. I pouted in frustration. Edward went back to licking my neck as his pace grew ever slightly harder. My back arched dramatically as I felt myself near the end for the last time for the night.

It wasn't as intense as the first two but it was still noticeable. My back arched and my face pushed against Edward's shoulder. I shook violently as I clasped tightly around Edward, sending him over the edge to. He let out a very low growl as she stopped moving in and out of me. His free hand gripped tightly to the bed as he released in me. I pulled on the rope as my body stopped shaking and I was left gasping for air through my nose.

Edward pulled out of me slowly. I let out a low moan, anxiously waiting for him to untie me. He removed his hand from my mouth and leaned up to untie my hands from the rope that they were being held in. They fell weightlessly to my side. I couldn't move them, I wasn't sure if it was from the lack of blood flow to them or the fact that I was so tired that I couldn't move anything in my body.

Edward kissed my cheek softly. "I love you," he whispered before removing the duct tape from my lips. It didn't hurt as much as I thought it would, he did it fast like you would do with a band aid.

I smiled softly grateful to be able to breathe out of my mouth. "I love you to." I finally told him.

He smiled at me before kissing my forehead.

"Edward." I whispered.

He kissed my cheek before mumbling out a low "hmm."

"Tomorrow's my turn."

**End Chapter.**

**A/N:** Told you it would get hotter. I want more reviews for this chapter. I want at least 115 reviews for this chapter. Last chapter I got a 123, this time I want 115 (or more). Thanks a bunch for reading and reviewing guys. This chapter was a lot of fun to write. And like I said I have great plans for this story. Check out the update to _Cigarette Burns_ (my new favorite chapter), Emmett at church – greatest scene ever. :D

Daddy's Little Cannibal


	3. All is Fair

**A/N:** ** I DID NOT PROOF READ THIS CHAPTER!** I'm sorry! I don't' have time! I have to leave like right now and I want to put it out tonight! Sorry in advance for what I'm sure will be a lot of mistakes! So I'm back. Sorry it took me so long I was abusing the crap out of my friend's car. So I'm totally excited to get this lemon out. For the first time in a long time I actually want to write a lemon. Yay! Also I was talking to my bestest friend on fanfiction, Jayeliwood, about her new story _Blind_ (it's a romance story in which Edward is blind and he falls in love with Bella) and she was talking about her ideas for the story and she gave me an idea for this chapter, it defiantly made it much hotter than it originally was. So thanks Jay and I hope you have fun with your new story. Now read! This chapter is so awkward.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own _Twilight_.

**All is Fair**

"Please Edward," I pleaded as I handed him the blind fold. "I know it sounds stupid and pointless but I never win at anything and it's not fair since you have the upper advantage in this relationship." I pushed out my bottom lip to try, in I'm sure would be a failed attempt, to win him over and agree to at least to be human for an hour or two.

"Bella," Edward's voice was low. I pushed my bottom lip out further as my eyes continued to plead with him. He sighed before finally grabbing the blind fold. "This isn't much of a war if I'm giving in to half the things you want to do." Edward complained as he lay down on his bed. I smiled in triumph. "Do we need to distinguish a safety word or is 'ouch please stop' still an acceptable response?" Edward teased before putting the blind fold on his forehead.

I narrowed my eyes on him before flicking his nose. "You're not that funny."I mumbled before pulling the blindfold down covering his perfect topaz eyes. I liked it better this way, I wasn't so self conscious.

I sat on the side of him as I thought about what I was going to do. I hadn't really thought this through, sure I had the advantage of him not being able to read my mind but I was still lacking other things – like experience. I twisted my lips to the side as I stared at the half naked vampire that was at the moment completely blind.

"If you want to tie me up, the rope is still in the garage." Edward was smiling at me. I stuck my tongue out at him – even though he couldn't see it. I had no intention of tying him up. I had no idea what I was doing with him. I knew that I had to do something…anything.

"Just relax Edward." I tried to sound more confident than I was. I took a deep breath before deciding to wing it. Obviously it couldn't be that hard. Edward was a virgin to everything he did to me yesterday and he was extremely good at what he was doing. I took a deep breath before laughing lightly to myself. This was so awkward.

"Bella," Edward lifted the blind fold from his eyes. "You don't have to do anything that you don't want to."

I smiled at him before straddling his stomach. I grabbed the blind fold from his eyes and pushed it back so they were covering his perfect eyelids. "I know." I whispered in his ear. "But I _want_ to do this." At least that's what's what I was trying to convince myself. I gave him a light kiss on the cheek. I decided that it was now or never. I closed my eyes and thought of what my first action was going to be.

"I have another question." Edward interrupted my thinking. I looked back at him as he raised the blindfold over his eyes. "What's with the blind fold?"

I opened my mouth and closed it. I had no idea what the blind fold was for – it just sounded like a good idea. Edward tied me up yesterday and I decided that today I would do something better. Sadly I had no idea how to be sexy so I did the next best thing. I blind folded him.

"Just the blind fold back on. It doesn't matter." I ordered him. He sighed before pulling it back onto his eyes.

"Ok," I whispered to myself. I grabbed his lips with mine as my hand fingers slowly traced his arms. He kissed back with just as much aggression as I had given him. I pulled away from him and started to trail kisses down his neck.

"I like this," Edward boasted loudly next to me. I blushed as I tried not to laugh.

"Don't talk please," I whispered shyly. "You're making this awkward for me."

Edward chuckled but didn't say anything else. I started to nip at his neck as I slowly unbuttoned his pants. The embarrassment of what I was doing was slowly being washed over the excitement and the sheer fact that I could win this. I unzipped his pants and closed my eyes, trying my hardest not to hyperventilate that would be bad.

"Bella," Edward groaned when I touched him through his boxers. I buried my head into the pillow glad that he was blind folded and couldn't see my blush.

I took a huge breath before I pulled him out of his boxers. It moved in my hand. My eyes widened as I stared at the pillow in shock. My blush was deepening as I gently squeezed it. Edward let out a deep moan. I stopped looking at the pillow and stared at him, he was biting his bottom lip. I smiled in triumph as I moved my hand up and down. The awkwardness was still there but it was safe that to say that it could have been much worst. I kissed his lips, my grip loosening on him.

"That feels so good, Bella." Edward whispered. My ego grew three sizes after he said that. I was starting to feel less like the cowardly lion and more like superwoman.

I pulled myself off of his chest and positioned myself over the lower half of him. The high from being able to get Edward to say my name by just touching him was still over powering me. I took a deep breath before lowering myself onto him. Edward let out a very audible moan as I bit my lip. This was my first time ever being on top and it felt better than I thought it would.

Edward wrapped his fingers around my waist and held me down. I stared at him as he arched his back and pushed his head forcefully against the pillow. "Don't move until I tell you to, Bella." Edward ordered his voice breathless. My power trip died down and I couldn't help but wonder how he was able to take control over a position that was supposed to be mine – but I obeyed afraid to push him over the wrong edge.

He moved my hips for me – first back and forth and then up and down. I couldn't help but to catch my breath in my throat and tremble under his precise movements. We both moaned together as he directed me. His hands stayed on my hips, careful not to hold me too tightly. My muscles were starting to tighten. My fingers wrapped around his shoulders as my nails dug deep into his shoulders.

"Edward," I moaned loudly. "This isn't fair!" I finally grunted out as my head fell onto his chest. I could feel it move up and down as he tried not laugh. My body tightened around him as I near my edge. I removed my fingers from his stone shoulders and wrapped them into the blanket. My back arch pulling me off his chest as my body started to spasm.

I had never been so grateful for blind folds until now. I was glad he couldn't see me as my face twisted and my mouth hanged open. I could feel Edward release into me as my orgasm sent him over the edge. He let out a very low growl as his back arched. My breath came out in gasps as I finally stopped shaking.

"That wasn't fair." I screamed at him as he pulled me off of him – I was too tired to do anything but complain about how unfair it was. "You cheated." I accused.

Edward removed the blind fold from his eyes. "No love – I'm just that good." He kissed my forehead before pulling me close to him. He had a right to be cocky because he was truly that good. But still it was suppose to be my turn to shine – _not_ his.

**End Chapter.**

**A/N:** **Again sorry for not proof reading! **But I have no time right now. I have to go. I promise to reread the chapter when I get back. Hopefully there are not that many mistakes! More will come. Promise! Sorry it took me so long. It's the summer and I have to go job hunting. Fun! My hair is purple now. Do you know how hard it is to find a job for someone with purple hair? It's impossible. So pray that I get a job soon. And I promise to update soon. :) Oh and I _might_ not be here next week. Vacation time! No idea where I'm going.

Daddy's Little Cannibal


	4. Circle of Life

**A/N:** So I'm guessing the reason that I didn't get as nearly as many reviews as I got the last two chapter (even though I gave ya'll over a week) is because the chapter was just too hot and you were so hot that you couldn't handle to write a review, right? That's what I thought.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own _Twilight_.

Again with the referencing my other stories within my stories…Heck! It's free publicity. :D

**Circle of Life  
**_or would it be vampirism?_

"You know Bella," Emmett told me as he sat down on the couch next to me. Edward's family had just gotten home from their 'hiking trip.' He made sure to put his massive arm around me to make even more uncomfortable. Emmett had a way with words and by a way with words I mean he can make me feel like the most awkward person in the world without even trying.

"No, I don't know Emmett." I sighed – knowing that he was going to tell me anyways.

"I have a theory." Emmett informed me.

"Emmett don't," Edward growled at him as he wrapped his arm around me and pushed me closer to him. "You're going to scare her."

I looked at Edward who was growling and then at Emmett who was trying not to laugh. I had a feeling that whatever was going on I wouldn't enjoy it. But curiosity had gotten the best of me and I said the most dangerous words anyone can mumble to Emmett. "Go on Emmett." I said bravely.

Emmett smiled at Edward. Edward stopped growling and wrapped his arm more protectively around me. "If she has nightmares tonight I'm killing you in the morning." He warned Emmett.

Emmett laughed loudly. Edward didn't loosen his grip around me. "So Bella, you and I have known each other for awhile right?"

"Yes," I said carefully.

"Would you say you trust me?" He asked. I nodded my head slowly. "With your life?" He asked.

"Yeah," I answered. I did trust Emmett with my life.

"What about your baby's life?" Emmett asked as he lifted his knee onto the couch.

"What?" I screamed in confusion and slight embarrassment. I was pretty sure I wasn't pregnant and if I was – there was going to be hell to pay.

Emmett sighed. "Let me explain." I looked at Edward for some help. He was glaring at Emmett. "I have a theory." Emmett continued.

"I know that's how you started this conversation." I growled at him anxious to know why we were talking about pregnancy – and not just any pregnancy _my_ pregnancy.

"You're not very patient. That's a bad quality for a mother," Emmett scowled me. I didn't bother saying that I wasn't pregnant and I didn't plan on getting pregnant due to the fact that my fiancé was a 107 year old – no longer a virgin – vampire.

"Emmett just get on with your theory so I can get Bella out of here." Edward growled at him.

"You're not very patient either. And to think I was going to give you five of the abominations." Emmett shook his head before turning to me. I didn't have time to ask what he meant by the abominations or why Edward was getting five of them. Emmett grabbed my hands into his large ones and stared into the eye. "Bella," He said in a sincere voice. "We should have sex _but_ only for reproduction purposes."

My eyes widened and I could I could feel my lower jaw drop. I shook my head violently – the only part of my body I could move at the moment. "Um," I whispered scared and confused. "No." My voice came out breathless.

"See Emmett," Edward got off of the couch and was now standing in front of me and Emmett. "She said no, now let go of her before she starts hyperventilating."

I didn't realize that my breath was coming out in short gasps until _after_ Edward pointed it out. I looked up at Edward my eyes still wide – he was glaring holes into Emmett. I looked back at Emmett the only one that was calm and collected in this awkward situation.

"Let me explain Bella." He smiled at me.

"I rather you didn't." I tried to hint. I liked Edward's idea of getting out of here and going home.

Emmett laughed loudly. "Bella," he let go of my hands. I fought the urge to wipe the sweat on my jeans. "I love you as a sister, a sister that if it wasn't for Rose I would probably try to practice incest with but a sister none the less." That didn't make me feel any better. "And seeing that you're the only human that I know I think it's only fair that you do this favor for me." Emmett persisted.

"But Emmett," I tried to sound brave but my voice broke. "I like you but in the big brother kind of way, you know the kind of big brother that would get me high and drunk so he could laugh at me and hold it over my head for the rest of my existence."

"Good because I don't have any feelings for you either." He smiled at me.

"But then why –" He put up his hand signaling for me to shut up.

"It's for reproduction purposes only." Emmett stated calmly.

"But Emmett I can't have a vampire's baby!" I reminded him.

Emmett smiled. "And that's where my theory comes in." He leaned back on the couch and put his arm over the back. "We'll do it in the broom closet. I'll be the janitor and you can be the intern." I had no idea what Emmett was talking about.

"And how is she supposed to get pregnant?" Edward asked irritated.

"Simple," Emmett raised his eyebrows up and down. "We'll use that massaging gel – the one that warms on contact. With the added heat not only will it –" I didn't get to the rest of Emmett's theory because Edward had quickly put his hands over my ears. I only heard the light growl coming from him as he talked to Emmett.

It was like watching a TV show on mute. You can see all the fun they're having (or in this case Emmett was having) but you couldn't hear or enjoy it yourself. I felt like a little kid – even though I was an adult and very aware of what Emmett was talking about. I told you Edward obsessively protective of me.

Emmett left the room leaving me alone with Edward. Edward pulled his hands from my ears and gave me an apologizing look. "I'm sorry about Emmett," he apologized.

"I'm not five Edward." I complained – though I was grateful the conversation was over. "I know what sex is and I can have an adult conversation about it." I growled at him.

"You call that an adult conversation about sex?" Edward asked raising an eyebrow.

"You know what I mean," I complained. "Maybe I was interested in Emmett's theory." That was a lie neither that neither of us believed. I sighed before pulling myself off the couch. "What was that all about anyways?" I asked confused by Emmett's sudden interest in me other than personal amusement.

"He's been watching the Sci-fi channel and wanted to freak you out." Edward grimaced.

"So he told me that he wants to have sex with me?" I squeaked. Edward grabbed the bridge of his nose and nodded.

"If you want the minute you become a vampire you can throw Emmett through a wall." Edward teased.

"I kind of just wanna go home." I sighed.

Edward gave me his famous crooked smile. "Yeah," he whispered. "Let's go." He kissed my cheek as he led me out of the house.

Edward could drive the beast (my new nickname for my car – if you call it that) way better than I could. He made it (like everything else) look easy. The whole ride home I couldn't get my mind off of the warming gel which slightly disturbed me. But it was an interesting theory – not the having sex in the broom closet with Emmett so we can see if we can make vampire babies – but the thought of maybe experimenting with gels and other products that were made to enhance the experience. I blushed. I was being ridiculous there was no way that I was going to do that with Edward.

"I win," Edward broke me out of my thoughts. I raised an eyebrow – confused by his sudden outburst. "The war between us," he smiled at me. "I win."

"What makes you think it's over?" I asked not wanting to give up without a fight. Edward raised an eyebrow and smiled. "I still have more tricks up my sleeve." I smiled at him to hide my blush.

"Like what?" Edward asked.

"I'm not telling you," I snorted at him – mostly because I didn't know what they were yet but I would figure it out eventually. Edward chuckled softly.

"Let's call it a truce for the moment love," he leaned in to kiss my cheek before turning to my driveway. "I don't think Charlie can handle it." He whispered. I blushed before hopping out of the beast.

It was a silent rule between us that we wouldn't have sex in Charlie's house – a rule that much to my displeasure Edward has been intent on keeping. Sometimes I wandered if he had an on and off switch that he can just flick on and off whenever the moment was right. As for me – thanks to teenage hormones – my switch is always on.

"I have to get going." Edward whispered to me as he walked around the back of the car.

I frowned. "Why?" I asked. "Don't you want to come in?"

Edward smiled. "I would love to come in but at the moment I need to take care of some other things." He gave me a light kiss on the forehead. "I'll be back tonight." He whispered in my ear. I nodded once and was about to say goodbye but he was already gone.

"Stupid disappearing vampires," I mumbled to myself before walking to the back of the truck to get my stuff.

**End Chapter.**

**A/N:** I didn't want to write a lemon. That was the last thing I wanted to do today and now that it's done I just want to crawl back into bed and watch _Scrubs_. Believe it or not the conversation with Emmett is actually important. I'm a clever person. :) Check out _All the Pretty Corpses_ when you get a chance. It's nothing like this story but I'm so proud of the latest chapter that I want everyone to read it. If I get a lot of reviews today (and what I mean in a lot more than last the chapter which I didn't even get half of what I usually get) than I'll update tomorrow.

Daddy's Little Cannibal


	5. Thanks Emmett

**A/N:** **Bella is not going to get pregnant AND Emmett and Bella are NOT going to have sex!** Ya'll take my jokes way too seriously sometimes. Anyways, I got food poisoning yesterday so I spent most of the day in the bathroom. Today I'm doing much better and was able to work on this chapter. No lemon. Its part of a new thing I'm trying out – it's called a plot. :)

**Disclaimer:** I don't own _Twilight_.

**Thanks Emmett  
**

There is nothing wrong with what I wanted to do – nothing – it's perfectly healthy to be interested in these kinds of things. If there was nothing wrong with what I wanted to do. Then why was I in Port Angeles with a hood over my head staring at the 'special interest' section of Wal-Mart through a mirror that was _supposed_ to be use to catch shop lifters. I took a deep breath. I was an adult now and there was nothing wrong with an _adult_ wanting to find something that would 'spice' up her relationship.

I gathered all my courage – took a deep breath – pulled the hood from my head and turned around to head back home. There was no way that I was going to humiliate myself by getting something that I would most likely never gather the courage to use.

"You know the condoms are on that side of the store," an all too familiar voice told me. I mentally banged my head before I grabbed the first thing that I could wrap my fingers around on the shelf next to me.

"What are you talking about Emmett?" I asked turning towards him. He was leaning against a shelf filled with diet pills and _Slim Fast_. "I'm just here to buy some," I looked at the item in my hand. You got to be kidding me? "_Preparation H_, I'm here to buy some _Preparation H_."

"Really?" Emmett asked before shoving his shoulder into the shelf – pushing himself away from the diet pills. "And you couldn't pick up _Preparation H _at the local drug store in Forks why?"

"Because they were all out," I lied. "So I thought that I would check out Port Angeles to see if they had any." I was never a good liar but I had to admit I was doing a pretty good job – hell even I believed it.

"I don't believe you." Emmett stated bluntly. My face dropped and my eyes widened.

"Why?" I asked crossing my arms over my chest. I had no idea why I crossed my arms over my chest besides the fact that's what actors and actresses do in movies.

"Because I've watched you and you don't seem the least bit uncomfortable and you're not –"

"It's for Charlie!" I lied again. "He doesn't want anyone to know about it since he's chief of police. It might look bad." I was better at this than I thought I was.

"Why are you so embarrassed that you and Edward are having sex?" Emmett asked bluntly. I cringed.

"Can you keep your voice down?" I snapped at him.

"Bella," Emmett was laughing. "It's perfectly normal to have sex. Especially if you love him and I'm pretty sure you and Edward love each other."

"Ok," My voice squeaked. "You're right. Now if you don't mind, I have to buy some _Preparation H_ for Charlie." I moved to the side to but Emmett stepped in front of me.

"I wanted to apologize for earlier. I didn't mean to scare you." Emmett patted my shoulder.

"No problem Emmett," I smiled at him – confused why he would follow me to Port Angeles to apologize. "I'm going to go pay for this now."

"Wait," Emmett stopped me before I could even move my foot to the side. "I know you didn't come here to buy that for Charlie."

I opened my mouth and then closed it. I didn't have any more good lies. "What are you talking about Emmett?" I decided to play stupid.

"Alice told me that you came here to buy condoms."Emmett admitted. I opened my mouth confused on why Alice had told him I came here to buy condoms. I hadn't even thought of buying condoms. "She sent me here to apologize and to tell you that my theory was just a side effect of too much TV and that there is no way that a human can get pregnant from having unprotected sex with vampires – even if we use warming gel."

"I wasn't here to buy condoms." I spoke slowly so my voice wouldn't squeak.

"Than what were you here to buy?" Emmett asked raising an eyebrow.

"_Preparation H,_"I lied as I walked around him. I was in mid-step when Emmett grabbed my hoodie and pulled me towards him.

"I don't think so." Emmett smiled at me. "You were here to buy something else, something that you picked up from my theory."

"Nope," I swallowed. "Just here for some good old _Preparation H_."

I took a step forward and pushed all my body weight onto that foot but it didn't loosen my grip from Emmett's steel hand. I put my foot down and leaned my whole body forward – aware that if Emmett decided to let go that I would fall flat on my face and because this _was_ Emmett he would probably let go just so he could see me fall flat on my face. The collar of my jacket tightened to the point where it was starting to choke me. I leaned back and ended up losing my footing and falling into Emmett's back. He started to laugh before helping me to my feet again. I stood up straight and turned around to him. He was shaking his head.

"You're pathetic." He observed.

I sighed. "Ok maybe I did get an idea from your theory." I admitted – blushing.

Emmett smiled. "That's my girl." He patted my shoulder before pushing me to the other side of the store, the one where the condoms were being held.

"Emmett!" I screamed before trying to run the other way but his grip was too tight around my shoulder that I couldn't move.

"Yes honey," Emmett smiled down at me.

"Call me that again and I'll have Edward throw you through a wall." I growled at him. "I don't want to do this, I want to go home and give Charlie his _Preparation H_." I didn't know why I was still holding the _Preparation H_ or why I was so eager to buy it so I give it to Charlie but I was.

"Bella," Emmett smiled down at me before turning towards me. He made sure to hold my shoulders tightly in case I decided to make a run for it – even though he could easily catch me and drag me back here. "Sweetheart," he created a new endearment. "There's nothing wrong with this."

"Excuse me ma'am." Emmett called out to one of the woman who worked here. My eyes widened and my mouth dropped. I turned around to make a run for it but Emmett pulled me back. The lady that worked here turned around and smiled at us. Her mouth dropped when she saw Emmett. I could only imagine what was going through her head.

"H-how can I help you?" She stuttered.

Emmett smiled down at me. "I was wandering if you could help us find something to spice up _our_ relationship." Emmett started to rub my arm.

"We're not going out!" I yelled quickly.

"She's right," Emmett agreed. I sighed in relief. "We're secret lovers. She's about to marry my brother and I'm afraid if I don't spice up our relationship I'll lose her forever."

The sales person opened her mouth before closing it quickly. What do you say when two people come up to you and not only admit to having an affair with each other but ask for help to make their affair hotter? There is not much you can do.

"I'll help you the best that I can." She gave us a strained smile before walking up next to us. "We have a variety of condoms you can choose from." She pulled a carton from the shelf. "This is for her pleasure." Emmett turned to me – the same goofy smile on his face. I shook my head.

"We don't need any condoms." Emmett informed her. She raised an eyebrow. "She's already pregnant, so there's really no need for the condoms besides making me feel uncomfortable."

"Oh," The sales person smiled at me. "How far along are you?"

"Only a couple of weeks," Emmett answered for me. "My brother thinks it's his but I know deep in my heart that it's mine. It must have been that time that we were role-playing in the broom closet." Emmett turned towards me. "I told you that wasn't my broom handle."

"You were right." I glowered at him. Emmett turned turns the sales person that looked extremely uncomfortable.

"She's much more excited about it than she's giving away." He smiled at her.

The sales person gave me an awkward smile before turning the shelf again. "Alright, do you have any toys?" She asked.

"No." I screamed before Emmett could answer for me. "No, I don't like outside objects." I blushed quickly. Emmett laughed softly to himself.

"Ok," the sales person's face dropped. "How about lubricants? Do you often find it hard to get," she searched for the proper phrase.

"Excited," Emmett offered.

The sales lady nodded. "Do you find it hard to get excited?"

"No," I shook my head. That was the last thing I had a problem with.

"But lubricants sound interesting." Emmett grabbed a bottle. "Do you have any that heats up?" He asked. I closed my eyes and turned my head – embarrassed by his bluntness.

"Um," The sales lady though. "Durex makes a lubricant that heats up when you blow on it. Karma Sutra Oils have flavored lubricants that heat up on contact. And then we have KY that has just released a new lubricant called His and Hers."

Emmett turned to me. "Well?" He asked.

"Well what?" I squeaked. "You know more about this than I do!"

"How about the flavor?" Emmett asked the sales lady.

"We don't carry that," the sales lady admitted. "But if you go online there are _plenty_ of places that would sell you that."

"You know what," I interrupted before grabbing the orange bottle of KY. "I think this will do just fine." Emmett finally let go of me so I could walk out of the building with some dignity.

"Thanks for the help." He thanked the sales person before following after me." Sweetheart wait up!" He called after me.

I walked faster throwing my hood over my head as I went to the stand in line at the cash register. "I can't believe you'd do that to me Emmett!" I growled at him when he took his place behind me.

"Oh c'mon Bells, you have to admit it was a little funny." Emmett laughed.

"It was embarrassing." I growled before looking at the KY and _Preparation H_ in my hands. "Why am I even buying this?" I looked up at Emmett.

"Because if you don't, I'll drag you back to the special interest section and ask a _male_ sales person what his favorite type of lubricant is." Emmett threatened.

"You need a hobby," I growled at him before putting the _Preparation H_ and KY onto the belt of the cash register.

"I do have a hobby," Emmett gloated. "It's annoying the hell out of you and Edward."

**End Chapter.**

**A/N:** More on the theory later. This chapter was so much fun to write. No lemon today – maybe Thursday. Tomorrow I'm going to update _Cigarette Burns_, Thursday_ Sex and Vampires _again, Friday _All the Pretty Corpses_, and Saturday will be _Coffin of Love_. I'm having so much fun with this story. It's so much fun to write. And believe it or not there's still more to come involving Emmett's theory. No, Bella will not get pregnant and no, Emmett is not going to have sex with Bella. With that said review my pretties. :D

Daddy's Little Cannibal


	6. Teaser

**A/N:** It's up date time. :) I'm glad ya'll liked the last chapter. It was an interesting chapter – to say the least. It took me forever to write this chapter. I'm so tired of writing comedy. I know it sounds weird but I like to write horror and angst more than I do comedy. Comedy is fun and I'm good at it but seriously too much of something gets on your nerves.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own _Twilight_.

**Teaser**

"Did you know that _Preparation H_ is sometimes used to make men look less flabby?" Emmett asked as he squeezed the white cream onto his finger. "It's also used to get rid of bags under the eyes." He pulled down the sun visor to reveal the mirror. I stopped the car at the stop light and stared at him, my foot barely touching the break.

"What are you doing?" I asked confused to why he was putting _Preparation H_ under his eyes.

"Trying to get rid of the bags under my eyes – if it works I'm giving it to Rose." He smiled at me.

I raised an eyebrow but didn't bother to push the topic any further. The less I knew about Emmett – the better. The light turned green and I pressed my foot on the gas lightly. I had gotten use to the sensitive pedal.

"Does it look any different?" Emmett asked. I glanced at him – afraid to take my eyes off the road for more than a minute.

"I don't know," I growled. "Ask me I'm not driving."

"Let me drive then," Emmett complained – again. He ran to Wal-Mart and was planning on driving me back to my house. I had a feeling the only reason that he ran to Wal-Mart was to find an excuse to try out the beast (even though he swears it was because it would be faster if he ran) but I wouldn't let him touch my car. If Edward's driving scared me that much – I didn't even want to think what Emmett's driving would be like.

"It's not like I'll kill you." Emmett persisted.

"No." I growled at him before finding a comfortable speed at forty-five.

"You're going too slow!" Emmett complained. "This car was meant to at least go to eighty."

"Then when I die, you can take this car and go as fast as you want." I promised Emmett.

Emmett laughed.

--

"Where were you Bells?" Charlie asked from the living room when I walked into the house.

"I just went to get some gas for the beast." I lied as I crept up the stairs the bag holding the warming gel behind my back. The last thing I needed – or wanted – was to explain was why I had bought KY warming gel, though I could lie and say that I bought it to see if it would warm Edward's hands. Charlie – on many occasions – had suggested to Edward that he try flexing his fingers to increase the blood flow through his hands. To no one's surprise – but Charlie's – it didn't seem to work.

"Ok," he yelled at me. I sighed in relief. There must have a game on. I finished walking up the stairs towards my bedroom. I threw the bag onto my bed.

I sighed and crawled onto my bed lying next to the bag. It was awkward driving home with Emmett. About half way to his house he got bored and decided to run the rest of the way – leaving me alone with my thoughts. I decided half way through the trip that the warming gel that I had bought would never leave my sock drawer – as soon as I put it in there. I offered it to Emmett but he wouldn't take it, he was content with the _Preparation H_ that actually had removed the bags under his eyes. He was giving it to Rose as soon as he got home.

I sighed as I rolled over onto my back. I was bored. I was beyond bored. I was so bored that the word bored didn't even cover it. I growled in frustration as I sat on my bed – my knees curled to my chest. I glared at the orange bottle peeking out through the not thick enough plastic bag. I grabbed the bag and dragged it towards me – curious to see if the liquid really worked. I wasn't going to use it for anything sexual – that would be too weird. _But_ I was curious to see if it actually worked.

I squeezed a tiny dab onto my index finger and rubbed it on my thumb. It was defiantly warm, it was actually almost hot. I stared at the bottle as I wiped the small dab onto my blue jeans (it was getting really hot). I was tempted to stuff this in the freezer to see if I could cool it down. I was expecting _warming_ gel – not burning hot gel.

I sighed before stuffing the orange bottle back into its bag and laying it under the bed – where it would stay until I moved it in my sock drawer. I crawled back into the middle of the bed and stared up at the ceiling, my mind wandering to what Edward was doing about now. What exactly did he have to take care of? I growled in frustration again as I went over the possibilities in my head. He was probably coming up with ways to win the war that he started!

"That's it." I growled. "I'm using you," I reached under my bed to grab the orange bottle again. If Edward was going to use outside methods to win this war than so was I!

--

I paced the room in anticipation. I hid the bottle under my pillow so I would have easy access to it when I needed to use it – though at the moment I didn't think I could get enough courage to use it. I sighed in frustration and plopped onto the bed. I was trying to be sexy by not wearing a bra or underwear – in fact the only thing I was wearing was an oversized t-shirt that I stole from Emmett when he "accidently" made me cough up my coke all over my clothes after he made a very verbal remark about Edward and my new intimacy.

"You look angry," Edward observed. I looked up – he was standing in front of me. I jumped back in shock before shaking my head.

"I'm not angry," I tried to sound happy. Edward frowned at me before taking a seat next to me. He wrapped his arms around my shoulder and gave me a soft kiss on my cheek.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He whispered. I shook my head – there was nothing to talk about. I wasn't angry – I was frustrated. But there was no way that I was going to admit that to Edward.

"No," I sighed before looking at him. He was still frowning. I smiled at him before gently pushing him onto the mattress. He raised an eyebrow but didn't object. I straddled his stomach and leaned down to kiss him. There was only cure for my frustration and Edward was the only person that I would allow to cure it. I moved my hair behind my shoulder before I leaned down to give him a light kiss on his lips.

He wrapped his fingers into my hair and brought me closer to him – quickly opening his mouth to deepen our kiss. I blushed but didn't object. My hands crawled under his shirt and ran over his muscled stomach. He pulled me closer to him as he deepened our kiss. For some reason my lungs started to burn and I couldn't understand why. Edward must have known because he pulled away from me. I stared at him – confused to why he would stop our kiss.

"Breathe Bella," Edward reminded me. I sucked the much needed breath into my lungs. Edward chuckled before flipping me over. How he was able to flip me over so we both didn't fall off the bed – I didn't know – but he did it. We were now lying in the middle of my twin size bed with Edward straddling my hips. His shirt was off – much to my pleasure. He leaned down to kiss my lips again. I moaned softly as I lifted my hand above my head and snuck it under my pillow to grab the bottle of KY jelly.

Edward's cold wrist grabbed my hand and pulled it from under the pillow. I let go of the bottle immediately but it was already too late it was poking out from under my pillow. He let go of my lips and stared at the orange bottle. Edward raised an eyebrow as he grabbed the bottle from under the pillow. He looked at the label and then back at me.

"KY warming gel," He read aloud. I blushed and opened my mouth to try and explain but there was nothing that I could say to lighten the situation. "And it's been used," Edward observed.

"I only tested it on my finger to see if it actually worked," I told him quickly. Edward raised an eyebrow at me as he gave me his famous crooked smile.

"Really?" Edward asked.

"I rubbed it on my jeans when I was done! It's in the clothes hamper! You can see it for yourself." My voice squeaked more than once.

Edward chuckled softly to himself before getting off of me. "You know the rules Bella," He smiled at me. "We're not sleeping together in Charlie's house."

"Technically you can't sleep." I reminded him.

He shook his head. "Must I always be the adult in this relationship?" He asked rhetorically.

"Technically," I decided to be smart. "You're stuck at seventeen and seeing as I am eighteen – I am the adult in this relationship and I say screw the rules!" I grabbed onto his shoulders and tried to bring him closer to me. Edward got away from my grip and threw his shirt over his head.

"Not going to work tonight Bella," Edward smiled at me as he put his arms through the arm holes, "but nice try."

I sighed and flipped over on my stomach. "You did that on purpose." I growled.

Edward laughed before crawling back onto my bed – his hands wrapping around my waist. "A little," he admitted.

"I need a cold shower," I complained as I rolled onto my side so I could look at him. Edward smiled at me and rested his cold hands on my cheeks. "That isn't helping Edward."

He laughed loudly. "I promise that the next time that we go to my house we'll use the warming gel." He gave me a kiss on my forehead. I sighed. "But I'm keeping gel until then." He smiled at me.

**End Chapter.**

**A/N:** Next chapter! I promise! But anyways! My story got nominated for an award – _Cigarette Burns_ got nominated for Best Original Plot, Best AU, Best WIP, and I got nominated for best author. So the link is on my profile – I don't know how it works out but if you want to continue to nominate my stories go right ahead. The voting isn't in session but as soon as it is I'll let you know. The only thing I'm positive about is that you can't enter stories with lemons in them so that means this story, _Boundaries_, WLGYL, and _The Last Night_ can't be entered but whatever. Anyways thanks a bunch for all the love and don't forget to review! Review equals love!

Daddy's Little Cannibal


	7. Warming Gel

**A/N: **So either FF doesn't like the title of my chapter or my computer doesn't like FF. Either way the last chapter got taken down right after it got put up. So I'm changing the title and putting it back up. My computer lost internet the last couple of days and now my laptop is in the hospital (my mom – don't worry about it) so I'm currently writing this from the house's computer, which is worst than Bella's computer. I sent the next chapters to my e-mail but my laptop doesn't like to be out smarted (long story) so it only sent me the chapter to this story and _All the Pretty Corpses_. _Coffin of Love_ and _Cigarette Burns_ will be updated soon, I promise!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own _Twilight_.

**Warming Gel**

"I don't even know how to use this," I complained as I stared at the bottle. Edward chuckled softly. I frowned at him. He was laying across from me in nothing but boxers. I wasn't doing much better I was in an over-sized t-shirt with a kitten on it.

"It was your idea." He smiled. "You could always call off this war and announce me the winner."

"No," I growled pulling myself onto my knees. "I'm winning this war."

Edward's head moved back in shock and he raised an eyebrow. "I've never seen you so aggressive before." He rolled onto his back and wrapped his hands behind his head. "It's kind of a turn on." He gave me a dramatic wink.

I rolled my eyes as I crawled across the bed to where he was laying. I moved my body so I was straddling his stomach. I made sure to wear underwear this time you know incase he tried to do anything that might distract me from what my original plan was. I squeezed a small amount of the clear liquid into my hand.

"Ok," I took a deep breath. "You can't make fun of me." I warned.

"I wouldn't think of it," Edward smiled at me.

"I'm serious Edward," I glared at him. "I'm new at this."

"And I'm not?" Edward asked raising an eyebrow.

"But you have the advantage of being a vampire." I reminded him. "My only advantage is that I haven't died today."

"You also have the advantage of warming gel," Edward smiled at me.

"You're not as cute as you think you are." I narrowed my eyes at him before dropping the liquid onto his chest – it was getting hot. "They weren't kidding when they said warming gel." I glanced at Edward his eyes were closed and his lips were in a tight line. I smiled before pouring a little more onto his chest.

"It's warm." Edward moaned.

"Warmer than me?" I asked as I traced his stomach with the clear liquid.

"A little," Edward admitted lifting an eyelid so he could make sure he didn't insult me. I shrugged it was hot. Of course it would be warmer than me.

"Ok." I breathed out. "Ready?" I asked. Edward chuckled. I glowered at him. "What?"

"After all the things we've been through you're still embarrassed by sex." He laughed.

"Yeah," I blushed. "So?"

"Why," Edward asked grabbing my arms between his cold fingers.

"Because it's embarrassing," I mumbled.

"Why?" Edward asked again.

"Because I know the way your face twists when you have an orgasm and I'm sure mine is like ten times worst." I finally blurted out. Edward raised an eyebrow.

"You're worried about what I think about your orgasm face?" He made it a question. I nodded. Edward's hand left my arm and his head fell back onto the bed. His body started to jerk and weird noises were coming out of his nose – he was laughing at me.

"It's not that funny." I complained slapping his chest. Edward's face turned to side as he continued to laugh at my humiliation. I blushed and decided to take advantage of this situation. I turned around and pulled down his boxers.

I blushed when the fabric revealed his manhood. I took a deep breath before squeezing some of the warming gel into my hand and gently – very gently – wrapping my fingers around his manhood. Edward let out a very loud and audible moan. I blushed and tried to pretend like I knew what I was doing. I ran my hand up and down his manhood while I stared at his feet. I didn't want to stare at the ceiling because that would show that I was uncomfortable doing this which would hurt Edward's feeling and I didn't want to stare at his manhood because that would make me even more awkward than I was right now – so I stared at his feet.

"That feels so good Bella," Edward moaned. I smiled to myself – I wasn't sure if it was the warming gel or me but I decided to pretend it was me. "Look at me Bella," Edward ordered.

I turned around to stare at him. Edward pushed his back off of the bed and sat up. I stopped moving my hand and stared at him – curious to see what he was about to do. He gave me his famous crooked smile as he grabbed my cheek. I bit my lip and stared at him. He pulled my face closer to his so I could smell his breath against my nose. My breath caught in throat.

"Are my feet that lovely?" He asked. I blushed and turned to the ceiling. Edward chuckled softly before wrapping his arms around me – pushing me closer to his chest.

"They could use a pedicure," I whispered. "I'm sure Alice could help."

Edward chuckled softly before moving a strand of my hair behind my ear. "It's my turn." He whispered softly in my ear before grabbing my earlobe gently between his teeth.

"I didn't even get to finish," I sighed before letting him go. Edward chuckled.

"I'm afraid if you finished – we wouldn't have any time for my turn." Edward mused as he traced circles on my arm.

I looked at him. "I could live with that."

"I couldn't." He smiled at me before flipping me over so he was on top of me.

"It's all about you isn't it?" I asked grimacing. Edward chuckled again before resting his hands on my waist.

"I'm glad you're finally noticing just how selfish I am." He leaned down and gave me a light kiss on my lips as his fingers wrapped into the waistband of my panties.

"Very selfish," I breathed when he pulled away. He started to lick my neck and pull down my panties at the same time. I blushed and tried to focus on breathing – there's really nothing much I could do besides that.

"Why are you wearing a shirt with a kitten on it?" Edward asked between kisses.

"Renee got it for me as a gag gift for Christmas one year. I use it as a night shirt." I blushed. "It was the only clean overnight shirt I had."

Edward pulled away from my neck. "Do you mind?" He asked pulling the hem of my shirt. I shook my head as I lifted my back off of the bed so Edward could lift the shirt over my head.

"Thank you," Edward whispered in my ear as he went back to kissing my neck. I moaned when I felt something poke at my entrance. All the frustration was almost gone when I felt him enter in me. I grabbed onto his shoulder – the warming gel was still in use and it was a very strange feeling to have something warm enter you – instead of something cold. My nails dug into his back.

"Wow," I breathed. Edward chuckled before entering out of me slowly and then pushed back in. It felt like forever since we last had sex and I missed it. My nails dug deeper into his back.

"Bella," Edward moaned into my ear.

"Edward," I moaned my breath getting heavy. "Oh God Edward," I moved my nails from his back and wrapped my fingers into his hair – pushing him closer to me so I kiss him.

Edward immediately opened his mouth for me – his tongue poking out of his mouth and wrapping around mine in my mouth. I pushed him closer to me as he continued to thrust into me. I pulled away so I could breathe. His lips started to trail kisses down my jaw line to my neck. I stared at him through the corner of my eye while I caught my breath.

"Edward," I whispered.

"Hmm," He answered into my neck.

I smiled to myself before pulling my lip towards his ear. "Cum for me." I whispered – what I hoped was – seductively.

As if on cue – Edward came. I was europhic. I started to do a small dance in my head as a huge smile spread across my face. I won, I won. I beat Edward Cullen. When Edward was done he pulled out of me and gave me a dirty look. I smiled at him.

"I won," I sang.

He shook his head before falling on the bed next to me. "I don't want to talk about it."

I started laughing. "I won." I sang out again – still smiling.

**End Chapter.**

**A/N:** There's your lemon. For those of you that have been complaining about the chapters not being long enough or not fast enough updates. I run four stories at once on this site. It takes me _hours_ to write one chapter. I do extremely well for someone that puts out an update almost daily while still maintaining a social life. The week before last I was on vacation and this week I lost my internet. As easy as writing comes to me – I still get writers block and some chapters/stories are easier to write than others so be patient with me. I still update faster than most authors on here. And you never have to worry about me not continuing a story I'll always finish my stories because I make sure to plan them out before I write them. I always know what's going to happen. So _Coffin of Love_ will be updated tomorrow and _Cigarette Burns_ will probably be updated Wednesday. I have to rewrite my chapters because my mom has my laptop – long story.

Daddy's Little Cannibal


	8. The Rules

**A/N:** So another one of my stories got stolen. Yippee. WLGYL was posted on adultfanfiction(dot)net without my permission. Though I have to admit I like the reviews I got for it. I got fifteen for 4 chapters and I'm guessing that's a lot for adultfanfiction. So I might just let them keep it up there till the story is ended so I can read the reviews. I don't know I guess it doesn't bother me as much as it did. I take it more as a compliment than an insult now, though plagiarism is still against the law (that's why we have to put the disclaimer in our stories). I'm just in a good mood today. I like this chapter and tomorrow I get to hang out with my friends and celebrate our independence.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own _Twilight_.

**The Rules**

"I hate vampires," I muttered quietly to myself as I tip-toed around the Cullen house. Carlisle was at work, Esme was at a garden party, and the Cullen kids – besides Edward – found busy work to do outside of the house. I was alone in a house with a horny vampire who just had his ego shattered last night. I knew that Edward wasn't going to hurt me. In fact the last thing he was going to do was hurt me. But I was still terrified as I walked down the hallway in the Cullen house. I felt like I was a little lamb being stalked by an angry (and horny) lion.

"Ok," I screamed out into the empty hallway. "You win!" I flapped my arms at my side. "You're the all might Edward that can make me orgasm." If I had a white cloth, I would have waved it in the air.

"You're not seriously giving up that easily," A velvet voice came from behind me. I jumped and tried to turn around but strong (and very cold) arms wrapped around my waist and pushed me closer to a hard (and still cold) chest. "Are you love?"

"You win Edward." I tried to sound braver than I actually was. "I can't win this war. I can win _battles_, but not the war."

"But I was having fun," Edward whispered huskily in my ear – his cold breath sending chill down my spine. I swallowed the lump in my throat. "I liked our little war." His hand grabbed went under my shirt and his cold skin touched my hot flesh. I whimpered. "Didn't you?" Edward asked kissing the back of my neck.

I shook my head. "No," I lied. "I didn't. It was stupid and there was no way I'm going to win." I tried to convince myself more than him.

"Are you sure?" Edward asked, his hand crawling from my waist to the front of my stomach, hovering over the elastic of my pajama pants. I grabbed his hand and turned my head towards him.

"Don't start anything you're not going to finish." I quoted an overused line that must have been used on _every_ teenage sex movie. Edward smiled at me and pushed his lips to mine. I didn't kiss him back. I continued to stare at him as I held his hand. "I'm serious Edward." I warned when he pulled away.

"What will you do if I don't?" He offered raising an eyebrow and showing me his famous crooked smile.

"Say the three magic words." I smiled at him.

"I love you?" Edward offered. I frowned at him. He chuckled softly and kissed my lips again. "I always finish everything that I start."

"Not last night." I reminded him. His face dropped and his eyes narrowed. I smiled at him.

"Well I'm just going to have to fix that then, aren't I?" He smiled at me.

"No," I shook my head. Edward's smile grew. "Please! Just this once let me celebrate victory without someone – namely you – getting revenge." Edward shook his head – his smile never fading. "But I _never_ win!" I continued to complain.

"It's my turn." He smiled at me.

"But the war is over." I reminded him. "I forfeited."

"Then it's no longer a war." Edward agreed. I sighed in relief. "It's a contest." He added quickly.

My face dropped. I hated contests. This was worst than when Emmett tried to get me to try a new position with Edward every day until the wedding. At first it sounded like a good idea but then I thought it through and realized that it was Emmett, so I turned him down. I always 

kind of wondered what it would have been like if I agreed to do it, what chaos would ensue but letting Emmett control my sex life. But I was glad I decided not to do it. That was a story that should never be told.

"There has to be some rules." I tried to pull the contest in my favor.

"Of course," Edward agreed.

"No sex in Charlie's house." I made that clear. Edward nodded.

"No warming gels." Edward added the second rule.

"Damnit," I muttered to myself. "Ok, no cheating." I smiled.

"Fair." Edward agreed. "No saying those three words."

"I can't say I love you?" I asked with mock shock. Edward gave me a stern look. "Fine," I sighed.

"When will this _contest_ end?" Edward asked.

"The first one that gets to five wins," I concluded. Edward smiled. "What do I get if I win?" I asked. Edward raised an eyebrow. We both knew that I wasn't going to win. "Metaphorically," I added.

"What do you want?"

I thought about it. I had everything that I could ever ask for. The love of my life without his boundaries and I was going to be a vampire in a few weeks. "Someone – other than Rose – to look at my old truck, I want a second opinion."

Edward rolled his eyes. "Fine, but if I win, I get to take you on a second honeymoon."

"We haven't even had our first and you're already thinking about the second?" I growled at him. Edward smiled. I rolled my eyes. "Fine!" I gave in.

"When does it start?" Edward asked.

"I don't know I guess now." And this is why you should always think things through before you say them. In a matter of seconds I was against the wall with Edward in front of me - shirtless and currently trying to make me the same way. I stared at him in shock as his hands pulled my shirt over my breasts to my armpits. I raised my hands in the air, confused to what had just happened.

"What are you doing?" I finally asked.

"Starting the contest," Edward told me pulling my shirt over my head.

"But we're in the middle of the hallway…against a wall." I voiced my confusion.

"I know," Edward smiled at me as he started to kiss my neck.

"But we're against the wall," I repeated. Edward chuckled against my neck. And then the light bulb clicked in my head. I forgot to say we could only have sex on the bed, which meant that this was perfectly legal. "Damnit," I muttered quietly to myself knowing full well that I was going to lose.

I pulled his head away from my neck and brought his lips to mine – I might as well enjoy it. Edward's tongue immediately poked out of his mouth and broke through my lips. I giggled but kissed him back just as eagerly. His hand grabbed my exposed breast. I moaned into his mouth and pushed his head closer to mine. I had a feeling that this was going to be intense.

Edward was the first to pull away, his breath was even as he laid his forehead against mine. I breathed heavily as I stared at the god in front of me. I pulled myself onto my tippy-toes and started to kiss his chest – like he often did with me. I traced the indents in his chest with my 

tongue, it was like licking ice but it tasted so much better. Edward pulled me away from him and grabbed my lips in another kiss, his thumb running over my erect nipple.

I wrapped my fingers into his hair and pushed him closer to me and traced my tongue over his bottom lip. Edward opened his mouth eagerly and deepened the kiss between us. His hand left my breast and slipped into the elastic of my panties. My eyes shot open and I pulled away from Edward.

"That's cheating," I gasped out grabbing his hand so it wouldn't slip any further.

"No it's not," Edward smiled down at me.

"Yeah it is," I continued to gasp.

"How is it cheating?" Edward raised an eyebrow.

"Because you know what it does to me." I growled at him.

"Exactly," He kissed my forehead and moved his lips so it was hovering over my ear. "That's why I'm doing it."

He pulled his hand away from my grasp and slipped it into my womanhood. I gasped when I felt his cold fingers graze my clitoris. My head betrayed me and fell against the wall, my eyes closing tightly as I tried not to explode. Edward's cold lips started to suck at my neck as his cold finger circled over my clitoris. I balled my fists at my side and tried to even my breathing, it wasn't working very well.

"Edward," I moaned. "This isn't fair." I finally gasped out.

Edward chuckled against my neck but didn't make any movement to remove his finger. My breathing became labored again as I stared at the ceiling. I didn't care about the stupid war anymore, I just wanted release. It's probably the most painful and pleasurable experience to be near your orgasm. Your whole body is clenching together, your breath is ragged, and it feels so good that it almost hurts. My nails dug into the wall as my body tightened, and started to shake.

"Edward," I almost screamed when I let my body release. My eyes shut tightly, my mouth opened and twisted in an odd direction, as my body started to shake uncontrollably. If anyone had walked in (and didn't realize what we were doing) I'm sure they would have thought that I was having a seizure.

"I win," Edward whispered in my ear when I finally stopped shaking. I didn't say anything. I was too busy trying to breathe. He pulled his hand out my panties and rested it on the wall next to my head. I pulled my hands from my side and wrapped it around his neck pushing his lips quickly to mine. He kissed me back with just as intensity as I had given him. I pulled away – still gasping.

"You're not done yet." I growled at him. Edward chuckled but didn't argue. I pulled down my pajama pants and panties, while Edward unbuttoned his pants, and of course he finished way before I did – even though I just had to pull mine down. He pressed his lips forcefully against mine and grabbed the back of my thighs – lifting them into the air so they were straddling his hips. I felt him at my entrance and let out a gasp when he entered me. My back pushed up against the wall.

Edward set a responsible pace for us as we continued to kiss while he entered in and out of me. I started to think of a way that I could get him back without telling him to cum for me – seeing as how that was against the rules. An idea crossed my mind, but I didn't know how good I would be at it. I blushed at the thought of it, but it was worth a try. After all it _was_ for Edward.

"That's it Edward." I attempted to talk dirty. "That feels so good." The embarrassment was obvious in my voice but I continued to try it. Edward let out a loud moan. I blushed.

"Bella," Edward groaned.

"I love the things that you do **to** me." I continued.

"What do you I do to you Bella?" Edward asked – helping me to try to talk dirty.

"You – I can't do this." I blushed.

"Try," Edward encouraged as he continued to thrust into me.

"I always want you to be inside of me – no matter where we are. If I think about you at any moment in time I get excited. I love the ways you make me feel and sometimes I wish that we were always having sex." I stopped trying to talk dirty and just told him the truth.

Edward's muscles started to tighten and he let go of one of my thighs so he could touch my rub my clitoris for me. I moaned loudly. "Bella," Edward groaned. "You're going to make me cum." He moaned out.

My back arched as he rubbed harder against my clitoris. My breath started to become labored as I tightened around him. I let out a loud moan as I gripped tightly to hair. "Let me cum Edward." I screamed at him.

Edward was the first to release but he didn't stop thrusting into me and I soon followed after him. My body started to spasm and the muscles in my body started to tightened. I let out a loud scream and slammed my face into his chest. Edward pulled out his hand and manhood and set my foot gently on the floor. I gripped tightly to his neck as I tried not passed out on him.

"I win." I teased through deep breaths.

"This didn't count," Edward said.

I looked at him and shook my head. "You're unbelievable."

**End Chapter.**

**A/N:** If you didn't get the WLGYL (_When Life Gives You Lemons_) reference – go read that story (it's by me). I couldn't resist! Seriously, when I mentioned the contest the inspiration penguin in my head started to do its dance and my thoughts quickly went to my other sex story that I wrote and I had to add that part. I mean it was too good not to add it. So there's my story reference for this story. In the words of Amanda Palmer – "don't tell me not to reference my songs within my songs." In the words of Daddy's Little Cannibal – "don't tell me not to reference my stories within my stories."

Happy Fourth of July (tomorrow, today, yesterday, a week ago, a month ago, a year ago – depends when you're reading this story).

Daddy's Little Cannibal


	9. Hey Schoolboy

**A/N:** _When Life Gives You Lemons_ is going up against _Making Love out of Nothing_ by ashel – 13 on Twilight awards. I'm going to lose. But anyways, I've been hanging out with the peeps all week and spent most of yesterday passed out in my bed. So I just now wrote this chapter and got started on the update for _All the Pretty Corpses_. This was probably the _most_ awkward chapter ever written. This was one of the original ideas for this story but I didn't want to do it because I didn't know how people would react. But I figured since _Fifty Cents a Ride_ did so well I'd give it a try. I do realize that this is an extremely long chapter. There was a lot to explain in this chapter.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own _Twilight_.

**Hey Schoolboy  
**_let's play pretend_

I took a deep breath as I waited patiently for my guest to arrive. The waiter stopped by my table again and smiled at me. I smiled back. I hadn't even glanced at the menu. I opened it and skimmed through it. I knew that if I asked he would come back and let me actually decide what I wanted but I wasn't sure if I could eat at the moment. I put my finger on the first thing that looked decent. He nodded once and scribbled something in his notepad.

"Will be that be all?" He asked politely.

"And a refill of water, please." I held up my glass of ice. He nodded before taking the glass out of my hands and walking off.

"So you invited me all the way to Seattle so I can witness you flirting with a waiter?" My guest asked when the waiter was out of ear shot. I let out a deep breath before turning my attention to Emmett. He was sitting in the chair across from me. I didn't even hear the chair squeak. "What's the matter?" He frowned at me. It wasn't normal to see him frown so I guess I looked just as bad as I felt.

"I need a favor." I admitted, I could feel my stomach twist and turn.

"Go on," Emmett urged when I didn't continue.

"You remember the theory that you told me." I had no idea where I was going with this. I guess I was stalling.

"You're not actually pregnant are you?" Emmett asked horror struck. My eyes widened and I shook my head.

"Of course not!" I screamed at him.

"Oh," He seemed a little disappointed. "Yeah I remember my theory."

"Well," I started again. "I was wandering if you have any other theories." I didn't want to make it obvious what I was asking for.

Emmett raised an eyebrow. "You're not trying to get pregnant, are you?"

"No," I answered quickly, realizing that I would have to take a different approach. "I was wandering if you could help me with something." I took a deep breath to calm my nerves.

"Go on," Emmett pressured.

"You can't tell Edward," I added quickly. Emmett nodded. "I was wandering if you could help me win a contest that I have with Edward."

"What type of contest?" Emmett asked leaning forward.

"A contest I can't win without some help from you." I avoided his question. Emmett raised an eyebrow. "Edward has challenged me to a," I thought about how I was going to explain this to him. "Basically, we're trying to see who can make the orgasm first." I admitted quickly.

"Here's your water." The waiter set my water in front of me. I looked up at him with wide eyes. His eyes were just as wide as mine were and he wasn't staring at me. "I'll be back with your food shortly." He walked away quickly, not able to look at me.

I turned back to Emmett. He was laughing under his breath. "You're so much fun Bella." Emmett laughed shaking his head. I banged my head onto my hand. I did not just admit to a complete stranger that I was having an orgasm war with my fiancé.

"Will you help me or not?" I decided to speed up our conversation.

"How can I help you make Edward orgasm sooner?" Emmett asked still laughing.

"I don't know," I admitted. "I thought you would have some ideas."

"Shouldn't you be asking Alice for help?" Emmett asked.

"I love Alice to death but I don't think that she would be as helpful as you would be in this type of situation." I grabbed the water in front of me and took a sip. My throat was getting dry.

"Have you tried asking Edward what he likes?" Emmett tried to help. I shook my head not taking my lips away from the straw. "Well that could help."

"I don't want to ask him that." I put the glass onto the table and stared at him in shock. "That's embarrassing."

"And his asking his brother what type of sex Edward likes is less awkward?" Emmett raised an eyebrow. He had a point, but I still wasn't going to ask Edward that embarrassing question.

"Do you have any other ideas?" I begged. I was at a lost for ideas.

"Have you tried role playing?" Emmett asked.

"Role playing?" I asked.

"You know," Emmett smiled. "Where you pretend to be someone else while you have sex."

"People do that?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"All the time," Emmett nodded.

I considered it for a moment. "Why would I pretend to be someone else while I'm having sex with Edward?" I didn't quite get the idea of role playing. Emmett rolled his eyes.

"Bella," Emmett sat his huge hands on the table. "Have you ever had a fantasy that you know would know never come true but you still think about it?" I thought about it for a minute.

I shook my head. "No, not really." I had my fantasy. Edward _was_ my fantasy.

"Really?" Emmett raised an eyebrow, apparently he didn't believe me.

"I'm a human having sex with a vampire. What else could possibly want?" I stated bluntly to Emmett.

A low clunk of a dish being put on my table caught my attention. My eyes shot up and I looked up at my waiter, who was setting my meal in front of me. I blushed while Emmett started snorting as he tried not to laugh.

"I'm not really dating a vampire." I tried to clear up. The waiter didn't look at me.

"Are you going to order anything sir?" The waiter asked Emmett pulling out his notepad.

"No," Emmett shook his head. "I ate before I came." He smiled at the waiter. The waiter nodded once before walking away, leaving me to lament at my inability to think before I talked. "Well you sure know how to make friends." Emmett smiled at me.

"He thinks I'm crazy." I grimaced.

"Oh yeah," Emmett agreed. "But besides Edward, you have no fantasies." Emmett furthered the conversation we were having. I shook my head. "What about Edward? Does he have any fantasies?"

"I don't know." I shrugged.

Emmett nodded. "Well the next best thing is to experiment."

"What?" I asked confused.

"Try different roles." Emmett elaborated. "There's plenty to choose from, student and teacher, doctor and patient, celebrity couples, complete strangers, cop and robber, and if you want to get really weird some people like incest." A shiver ran down my spine at the mention of incest.

"Do you and Rose…" I trailed off. I didn't know if it was too personal or not.

"Sometimes," Emmett admitted. "She likes to play doctor."

"Too much information," Another shiver rand down my spine.

"Are you going to eat?" Emmett motioned to my untouched salad. I glanced at it and shook my head.

"I'm not that hungry," I admitted pushing my salad forward.

"So," Emmett leaned back in his chair again. "What will it be?"

I blushed. "I don't know." I ran my fingers through my hair.

"Well call me when you make your decision." Emmett smiled at me before pulling his chair away from the table. "I'll make the arrangements to get the family out of the house and the items you'll need."

"Thank Emmett." I smiled at him. "This means a lot to me."

"It's the least I could do." Emmett shrugged. "By the way," A smile grew on his face. "How did the warming gel work out for you?"

"Very well," I blushed. Emmett laughed as he pulled out his wallet and handed me a bill. I frowned at him. "I was going to –" He shook his head so I didn't finish.

"I got it." He walked away before I could hand him his money back. I frowned and grabbed the money he left on the table. The waiter stopped by my table again and set the check on the edge.

"Can I have a doggy bag?" I moved my hand across my untouched salad. He nodded before leaving me alone again. I grabbed the receipt and frowned. The price was what I expected but there was an extra row of numbers written in a black bold point pen on the side with the word "call me" next to it. I rolled my eyes.

--

"I've made my decision." I told Emmett over the phone.

"Good," Emmett sounded more excited that than should be. "What is it?"

I sighed. "I think I want to try…"

--

"He's left." Emmett whispered in my ear. I nodded, telling him I understood. He pressed his cold hand harder against my mouth. He was hiding me from Edward so he could sneak me back into his house so I get ready for our little 'game.' I was worried that Edward would catch my scent so Emmett sprayed me down with perfume, body lotion, and anything else that would hide my scent. He offered to roll me around in the mud for a little bit but I declined.

"Ok," Emmett whispered in my ear. "I'm going to drop you off in the house. There you will have fifteen minutes to take a shower and get into character." I nodded. I wrote a letter to Edward and left it on my bed telling him to meet me at his house in fifteen minutes. "Ready?" Emmett asked – still not removing his hand. I nodded and quickly closed my eyes. I wrapped my hands tightly around his neck as he tightened his grip around me and pushed me close to his chest.

Emmett was much more aggressive when he ran. Even though he made sure that I didn't get hurt, he was also much more careless. When Edward ran he was graceful. When Emmett ran it was just nauseating. There was nothing graceful about it. I gripped tighter to his chest as I swallowed my dinner.

"You okay Bella?" Emmett laughed at me. I nodded. Emmett stopped for a second. I opened an eye to see the front door to the Cullen home. I expected Emmett to stop and leave me at the front door. But he took off running again. I closed my eyes immediately and pushed my head into his chest. When he finally reached his destination, he let go of my legs and I gripped tightly to the wall for support.

"I hate vampires," I mumbled – still nauseous.

"Don't tell Edward that." Emmett laughed. I looked up at him and grimaced. "You have thirteen minutes." Emmett warned me. "Your clothes are folded above the toilet." I nodded before opening the door to their bathroom so I could take a shower and changed into the clothes Emmett bought me. "Good luck Bella."

--

"You can do this," I told myself as I paced in front of a desk in one of the rooms. It was originally a storage center but Emmett made it into a little office for this special occasion. The door opened slowly and my heart started to race. I stopped pacing in front of the desk and forced myself into the chair behind it. I folded my hands in front of me as Edward walked further into the room with a smug look on his face. I took a deep breath.

"Bella?" Edward asked looking around the room with confusion.

"Ah," I tried to sound professional. "Mr. Cullen you're here." I fought the urge to laugh as I realized just how ridiculous this was. I was going to kill Emmett for planting this idea in my head.

Edward pulled his head back in shock and raised an eyebrow. "Mr. Cullen?" He asked.

I ignored his response and motioned for him to sit in the chair in front of me. "Please take a seat Mr. Cullen." I ordered as I spun around in the chair. When I had finished rotating, I saw Edward sitting in the chair leaning his chin on his hand. I pulled away in shock. I had momentarily forgotten how fast vampires were. I swallowed the lump in my throat as I grabbed the blank papers in front of me. "Do you know why you're here Mr. Cullen?" I asked.

"No," Edward shook his head before straightening in his seat. "Tell me why I'm here Bella."

"Ms. Swan," I corrected him. Edward's lip twitched.

"Ms. Swan," Edward corrected nodding his head.

"Well," I got up from my seat so Edward could see my outfit. It was an extremely short black business skirt and a white blouse. Edward leaned back in his chair, his eyes widening. I blushed and pulled at the skirt, hopefully not breaking character. "A student has informed me that you have been a bad boy." I turned my face to the side to hide the fact that I was trying not to laugh.

"Really?" Edward asked. "How bad?" I turned toward him. He was now slouching with his hands on the back of the chair and his legs spread out. He was clearly getting into character. I took a deep breath to calm down my nerves.

"Very bad," I tried to sound sexy or at least angry about it but it came out as a high pitched squeak. I turned my head to the floor to hide my embarrassment. I sucked at this! I couldn't stay in character, though I was pretty sure if any teacher was put into this situation she would squeak to.

"Tell me," Edward's breath grazed my ear. "What I did wrong." My head shot towards him and my eyes widened. He was standing in front of me his hands on either side of me, resting on the desk. He breathed against my nose and licked his lips. I whimpered as I tried to think of something that would make a teacher angry.

"Um," I thought slowly. "You were being inappropriate in class." I answered lamely.

"What was I doing?" Edward asked. His hand touched my exposed knee. I couldn't say anymore. Edward smiled at me as his hand went up my skirt and rested on my thigh. I knew my character should be angry or at least in control of the situation, but he was too good.

I opened my mouth and closed it. "You were," I bit my lip. "Being inappropriate in class." I repeated what I had just told him.

Edward's smile grew. "You told me that already." His hand went further up my leg. "I don't think it's fair that you're accusing me of bad if you're not going to tell me what I'm doing is bad." Edward continued to tease me.

"You weren't playing fair." I voiced my frustration.

"What did I do that wasn't fair?" Edward chuckled in my ear.

"Well the student was complaining how she won a round of checkers with you but you said it didn't count because you got your ego hurt. So you wouldn't accept that she won and instead counted it as a practice try. And now she's afraid that she may never win against you again." My breath came out hard with the aggravation I was feeling because last time we had sex I won my first round without cheating and it didn't count.

"That's preposterous," Edward frowned pulling his face away from me. I stared up at him, surprised by his sudden outburst. His face was stern and his eyebrows were furrowed. "I could never lose at checkers."

My face dropped and I glared at him. He smiled brightly at me before giving me a light kiss on my nose, my lip twitched. Edward chuckled softly to himself. I wasn't sure if we were still in character or not but I was aggravated with him. Edward sighed before pulling away from me and sitting on the chair that he had sat in before.

"So how much trouble am I in?" Edward asked, going back into character.

"Well," I tried to sound thoughtful. "You're going to have to make it up to that student."

"I'll apologize to her first thing tomorrow morning." Edward continued to be in character.

"Why don't you make it up to me instead?" I hinted at him. Edward smiled at me.

"Like how?" He pulled himself off of the chair and stood in front of me. I tried to keep my breathing normal as his hand went under my skirt again. "Would you like me to touch you as I kiss your neck?" Edward asked as he gently kissed my neck and ran his fingers over my panties. I swallowed the lump in my throat and bit my lip to hide my moan. "Or would you like me to lick you instead?" He licked my neck as his hand removed itself from my skirt and started to unbutton my top.

I sat in bliss as I tried to understand how Edward had turned the tables on me again. My original plan was to "punish" Edward for being a bad boy, but somehow he had managed to turn the tables on me and now he was the one pleasuring me instead of me pleasuring him. I hated this stupid contest, I should have accepted Emmett's bet and have sex with Edward in fourteen different positions instead.

"Ms. Swan," Edward whispered my name.

"Yes?"

"You taste really good." Edward complimented me before crushing his lips onto mine. I didn't get time to respond, his tongue was already exploring my opened mouth. I moaned loudly before pushing my head closer to his. He started to unclasp my bra for me, so I decided to pull at the hem of his t-shirt. He got the idea and broke the kiss and stepped back so he could lift his t-shirt over his head. I took this time to remove my bra from my breasts.

Edward pushed his lips back onto mine forcefully and pushed me against the desk. My back arched as the feel of the cold painted wood and paper rubbed against my back. I kind of wished I had gotten the idea of clearing the desk of all its contents before Edward and I decided to get to the sex part of our role play.

His lips left mine and quickly latched onto my nipple. His hands wrapped around the waistband of my skirt and started to pull it down for me. I lifted my bottom in the air so he could remove my skirt and panties for me.

"Don't even think it," I warned when Edward had finally finished removing my items of clothing for me.

Edward tilted his head to the side. "Think what Ms. Swan?"

"What you were about to do," I avoided saying it directly.

"I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about." Edward smiled at me. He wasted no time to do the thing that I didn't want him to do. His fingers found my clitoris and stared to rub it as he went back to licking me. I growled in frustration. I pulled my back out of the desk but Edward's chest handicapped me from moving any further.

"That's not fair!" I complained loudly as my back fell back to the desk. "It's like me saying –" I wasn't able to say the words, Edward's free hand was pressed against my mouth. My eyes widened as I stared at him in shock.

"Don't even think about saying it." He warned. "These are new pants."

I smiled as he removed his hand. "Then stop what you're doing and I won't say it." He sighed but pulled his other hand out of my womanhood and held it in air with his other hand. I pushed at his chest as I lifted my back off the table. He pulled away from me and took a step back. I pulled myself off the desk and turned around so I could throw everything on it on the floor.

"Take off your pants and then lie down on the desk," I ordered. I was feeling a new wave of power. I guess it was because I knew that I had some control over Edward, even though it was against the rules for me to use it. I turned around so Edward could have some privacy as he undressed for me.

"You can turn around Ms. Swan." I could hear the amusement in Edward's voice. I turned around and purposely avoided that certain part of the male body. I walked to the desk and pulled myself on top of it, or at least try, the desk was taller than I would have preferred and I was naked. Edward pulled himself into sitting position and grabbed my waist, help lifting me onto the desk. I sat on the edge where his legs were hanging off.

"Old age finally catching up to you Ms. Swan?" Edward joked. My mouth dropped and my eyes widened.

"You're grounded!" I screamed at him. Edward raised an eyebrow.

"You can't ground me I'm your student." He made a good point.

"Fine, you have detention." I screamed at him.

"But I'm already in detention Ms. Swan." Edward reminded me. My face dropped and my eyes widened. He brought up a very good point.

"Stop being a smart ass!" I screamed at him as I slapped his chest. Edward fell back onto the desk, his body shaking with his obvious laughter. I pulled my feet onto the desk and crawled to Edward's chest. I was the teacher in this relationship and I wasn't going to be outsmarted by some arrogant 107 year old student.

"Quiet Mr. Cullen," I ordered when Edward continued to laugh. He straightened up and smiled at me. I moved my knee on both sides of his chest so I could straddle it. "You've been a bad boy." I tried to sound sex. Edward started to laugh. I hit his chest. "Don't laugh at me! I'm trying to be sexy."

"You're very sexy Ms. Swan," Edward rested his hands on my waist. "And I'm sorry for calling you old."

"Don't worry." I smiled at him before I positioned myself above him. "You're about to make it up to me." I gently lowered myself onto him. Edward let out a very loud groan. My back arched and I fought the urge to scream, so instead I let out a very loud moan and tightened around him.

"Shit," Edward groaned. I guess the role playing really did work. He grabbed onto my hips and helped me start a pace. I bit my lip and pushed my hands onto Edward's chest. I hated being human. "Ms. Swan," Edward moaned as he went up and kissed my cheek. "Oh god Ms. Swan!"

"Stop calling me Ms. Swan." I ordered. "It's getting creepy."

Edward chuckled. "Ms. Cullen!" Edward corrected himself. Though it wasn't quite what I was looking for it was better than Ms. Swan.

"Mr. Cullen," I moaned in his ear. Somehow we had turned teacher and student into husband and wife. Edward smiled at me. I smiled back, enjoying this special moment we had together.

"Holy shit!" I screamed out when I felt a cold finger touch a very sensitive nub. My eyes widened and my back arched. If Edward wasn't still holding my hip I would have probably fallen off of the desk. Edward leaned up and grabbed my nipple into his mouth. My eyes widened and my breath was coming out in short gasps. I was going to lose again.

"Edward," I groaned unable to control the wave of pleasure that was coursing through my body. "You're a jerk!"

Edward chuckled but didn't release the most sensitive part of my body. I tightened around him, making him groan really loud as he continued to thrust into me. I started to pant as my body tensed and my back continued to arch.

"Edward," I started to pant. "Please –"

"Don't say it Bella." Edward growled.

"Please continue to do what you're doing to me so you can find release." It wasn't as easy to say as the other words that I wanted to say, but it worked none the less. Of course when it worked it sent me over the edge to.

My body tensed forward so my face slammed into Edward's hard chest. My body started to shake as my breath caught in my throat. My toes were curling and my fingers were digging into Edward's chest. Edward was grunting very loudly as he shook against me. Edward fell back onto the desk. I tried to catch my breath as I pulled myself off of him.

There wasn't much room onto the desk so when I finally rolled off of him, I rolled too far and ended up falling onto the floor of the office. I felt like we were in some teenage sex comedy. You never saw this in any of the romance movies. Usually after someone has sex it's perfect and nothing goes wrong, I just fell off of a desk.

"That was a tie!" I yelled so Edward would know that I wasn't going to accept anything less.

**End Chapter.**

**A/N**: I'm totally not mature enough for this chapter. I couldn't stop laughing when I was proof reading it because it was so weird. I hope ya'll like it. I was having such a fun time with it, because it was so weird, and I have such a strong imagination so I could see everything perfectly – it was quite disturbing. If you guys like it please review, because if you don't, I'm totally never doing role playing again. If I get enough reviews (and I mean _enough_ reviews) I'll do doctor and patient next. Sex stories are awkward.


	10. Doctor! Doctor!

**A/N:** 800 reviews? Damn. This story and WLGYL have been nominated in a contest for best sex scene. So if you love this story you'll vote for it! The link is on my profile (it's the same one as the others only for a different round). So ya'll ask for it and I'm doing it (I totally was going to do this anyways) and I hope you guys like it. I'm trying my hand at making it less awkward. Tell me how I do. Also vote in my poll on my profile. I'm putting this story up against WLGYL.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own _Twilight_.

**Bella:** 1  
**Edward:** 1

**Doctor! Doctor!  
**_Say "ah"_

I wrapped my arms over my chest. The examining room was a lot colder than it should have been. I never understood how hospitals could be so cold. I let out an involuntary shiver as I rubbed my arms to create friction. Edward had asked me to see a doctor about my 'injuries' from the fall that I made the other day. My back was sore and I had bruise on my thigh but other than that nothing was hospital worthy. Carlisle had examined me and recommended a few days of rest, but Edward had insisted on me getting a second opinion. I knew he was over protective but this was getting ridiculous.

Edward had offered to go with me but I turned him down. I loved him to death but there was no way that I was going to have a doctor examine me with him standing over my shoulder, especially if the doctor was a male. An involuntary shivered ran down my spine. It was moments like these that I was glad that I couldn't read people's mind. I _didn't_ want to know what people were thinking. The thought of constantly hearing people's thoughts made me feel queasy especially the thoughts that were directed towards me. Sometimes ignorance really was bliss.

The door to examining room opened. I tightened my arms around my chest so the doctor wouldn't see just how cold I really was. I glanced at the doctor. He was staring intently at a very thick folder. I could only guess those were my files. I frowned at him. He was extremely tall, extremely pale, and had deep auburn hair. My eyes widened and my throat became dry. It couldn't be!

"You broke your arm when you were five?" Edward asked looking away from my charts and frowning at me. My face dropped and my eyes widened.

"Edward?" I asked, though I already knew it was him.

Edward looked back at me confused. "How do you know my name?" He was a way better actor than I could ever be.

"Just a lucky guess," I mumbled, deciding to play along with this little game.

"Alright Ms. Swan." Edward smiled at me. "What seems to be the problem today?" He pulled out a pen from his pocket in his lab coat. I wandered if he could get arrested for impersonating a doctor. I knew that he had two medical degrees under his belt and was probably better than any other human doctor in this building but when he wasn't playing doctor, he was playing an eighteen year old that just graduated high school.

"Um…my back hurts," I didn't sound very convincing. I had forgotten why I had come in here the first place.

"Your back hurts." Edward nodded and wrote something down in my chart. I frowned. "How did you hurt your back, Ms. Swan?"

"You know," I blushed. Edward looked up from my charts and frowned.

"No, I don't know. Please explain to me how you got this injury." There was no teasing in Edward's voice. He was being serious about me answering his question.

"I fell off a desk," I sighed.

Edward raised an eyebrow. "You fell off of a desk?" He asked. I nodded. He shook his head before writing something down on my chart. "May I ask what you were doing on a desk in the first place?"

"Practicing my cardio," I smiled at him.

"On a desk?"

I nodded. Edward shook his head before scribbling something on my file and setting it on the countertop. He turned his attention back to me and grabbed the stethoscope around his neck. I shivered at the thought of the cold room, his cold hands, and the cold stethoscope all touching my body at once. Edward frowned at me.

"Sorry," I apologized. "It's kind of cold here." I admitted. He didn't smile.

"If you want I can turn up the heat." Edward offered. I nodded, thinking that it was his way of getting into the actual sex part of our role play but instead of kissing me, he turned around and actually turned up the temperature in the room. I frowned, disappointed in realizing that this could actually be an examination, not his way of getting me back for the other day.

"Alright Ms. Swan," Edward turned back to me. I forced a smile, still disappointed that this wasn't going to turn into anything more. "If you would please take off your shirt." My eyes widened, as I realized that this just might lead somewhere. Edward took my wide eyes as a different response. "So I can check your vitals." He added quickly.

I nodded and pulled my shirt over my head. The cold hair hit my flesh and I shivered. Edward didn't seem to mind that I was sitting half naked in front of him. He mindlessly put the stethoscope on my chest and ordered me to breathe deeply. I did as he instructed. He moved the stethoscope in various places on my body and each time told me to take a deep breath. He kept his hands to himself and didn't do anything inappropriate, he was being very professional. Damn him.

"Are those my files?" I asked glancing at the very thick folder that was stacked with papers. Edward glanced at the countertop.

"Some of them," He nodded. "We have a whole file cabinet dedicated to you, Ms. Swan." I didn't know if he was joking or not. "Alright," Edward pulled the stethoscope out of his ears and back around his neck again. "Tell me when it hurts." He ordered as he gently pressed to fingers to my back

"Ouch," I lied. Edward removed his fingers immediately from my back and took a step back in shock.

"I didn't hurt you, did I?" His eyes were frantic. I had a feeling that he just broke out of character. I shook my head. Edward didn't seem convince.

"I'm fine Dr. Cullen." I smiled at him. "I was just overreacting." I tried to come up with a good explanation to my sudden outburst.

"Very well than," Edward didn't touch my back again. "I'll see if I can find something that will help your back, Ms. Swan." He walked over the cupboards and pulled out a container.

"But you said –" I started to scream at him.

"Please Ms. Swan," Edward held his hand in the air. "This is for medical reasons." I frowned at Edward and crossed my arms over my chest like a child. He was cheating and he knew that he was cheating.

"You said no warming gels." I mumbled harshly under my breath. I knew he heard me.

"This," He held up the container. "Is IcyHot, it is not 'warming gel.'"

"It's going to get warm isn't it?" I mumbled.

Edward nodded before he dabbed a little on the spot that I told him was sore on my back. Like he had promised, it was slowly getting warm while still being strangely cold, it was an odd feeling. I flinched away from the cold. Edward frowned at me.

"It really is cold." I tried to describe the odd feeling that was IcyHot.

Edward smiled. "If you want, I can warm it up for you." I nodded, thinking he was going to turn the temperature up again. Instead he dropped the IcyHot on the floor and grabbed my cheeks between his cold hands and forced his mouth against mine. My eyes widened and I blinked a few times. I wasn't use to Edward being so forceful so it caught me off guard.

My hands gripped tightly to the edge of the mattress I was sitting on as I pushed my lips closer to Edward. Edward's hands left my cheek and started to unhook my bra. I didn't care that we were in the middle of a room and could be caught in any minute. Edward was dressed up as a doctor and currently trying to unhook my bra. This was _hot_.

"Dr. Cullen!" I screamed in mock horror when Edward had finally unclasped my bra and was now pulling it away from my breasts.

"Please call me Edward Ms. Swan." He smiled at me. I rolled my eyes. Edward started to take off his lab coat. I could feel a hint of regret. I kind of liked the look of him in that white coat.

"Edward," I mumbled quietly. He looked at me as he placed the lab coat next to me on the mattress. "Do you mind putting that coat back on when you finish undressing?" I asked. Edward chuckled. I blushed.

"Sure," he agreed.

"Thanks," I smiled. Edward pulled his shirt over his head to reveal very muscular and defined chest. Then he grabbed the lab coat from next to me and put it over his chest.

"Like it?" Edward asked for my approval.

I nodded. He was _gorgeous_. There was nothing to describe just how hot Edward looked in a white lab coat and pants. He smiled at me and moved in to kiss my lips again. I held my hand in the air and shook my head. He pulled away and frowned at me. I pointed my shoes. Edward nodded. I lifted my foot onto the mattress and started to untie them. Edward got the hint and started to take off his own shoes.

"Are you happy now?" Edward asked when both our shoes were off and we both half naked, except for his white lab coat. I shook my head. Edward frowned.

I pulled myself off of the examining table and walked to the door. I turned the lock on it and jiggled the handle to make sure that it was really locked. When I was convinced I turned back to Edward and smiled. "Now I'm happy."

"You know this illegal right?" Edward asked holding out his arms for me.

"So is impersonating a doctor." I reminded him as I walked into his arms.

Edward smiled. "True." He agreed. "But I have permission from Carlisle." He gave my forehead a light kiss. I stepped out of his arms and stared at him in horror.

"Carlisle knows that we're…"I couldn't get myself to finish.

"Bella," Edward sighed. "He's over three hundred years old. He knows the needs of a couple."

I still wasn't comfortable knowing that Carlisle had somehow helped Edward planned this intimate moment with me, but then again, Emmett helped me pretend to be a teacher, so I guess that Carlisle lending Edward an examining room for a couple of hours was ok.

"So doctor," I smiled at Edward as I tried to come up with something clever but sexy to say to him. "I have nothing," I ruined the moment.

Edward laughed. "At least you tried," Edward tried to comfort me.

"I suck at this," I lamented.

"You were doing pretty well last time," Edward smiled down at me. I blushed.

"So are we going to play doctor, or what?" I asked as I sat on the examination table. Edward walked in front of me and gently caressed my breast.

"I'm checking for breast cancer," He whispered in my ear before he grabbed my earlobe between his teeth. My eyes widened and a stronger blush came across my face.

"If you want, you can check my gag reflexes," I finally got the courage to choke out. Edward let go of my ear between his teeth and stopped kneading my breast. I blushed as she stared down at me. I tried to look brave and knew what I was doing, but the truth was I had no idea.

Edward smiled down at me and kissed my forehead. "Maybe another time love." He gave me a kiss on my nose, "How about when we're not in a middle of a contest."

I had to say that I was kind of disappointed. It wasn't easy for me to put myself out there like that and in a way Edward had turned me down. It was embarrassing to be the one that was getting all the pleasure and I couldn't do much to return the favor to Edward. I didn't know how to be sexy or to do half of the things that Edward was able to do.

Edward kissed my lips. "We don't have much more time." He whispered in my ear. I frowned. "Your examination was only supposed to take an hour and it's already been forty-five minutes."

I nodded understanding what he was saying. I started to unbutton my blue jeans. I lifted my bottom in the air and put my thumb in the waistband of my panties so I could push them down a long with my blue jeans. Edward was already naked, except for the lab coat, when I had finally kicked my blue jeans and panties off of my feet.

"How do you want to do this?" I asked. I was trying to be more confident during our 'sessions.'

Edward raised an eyebrow.

"I mean what position." I tried to elaborate. He turned his head towards the wall. My face dropped and I shook my head. "I don't like that wall very much." Edward laughed. He grabbed my knees and held them at his side as he positioned himself at my entrance. "This could work." I agreed as I lay against the examination table. My head was close to the wall and I had a feeling if Edward thrust into me hard enough I would bang my head against the wall.

"Before we start," I stopped Edward. "My head is really close to the wall." I pointed to the wall behind me. Edward got what I was saying and moved me so I wasn't close to the wall.

"Better?" Edward asked. I nodded.

He entered into me. My back arched and my eyes closed. I gripped tightly to examination table as Edward hit things that I didn't even know existed. I didn't know if it was the position or the lack of sex for a couple of days but it felt much better than any of the previous positions that we had tried before. I squeezed my eyes closed and bit my lip. I was never much of a screamer but I was finding it really difficult not to scream. The one time I wanted to scream, I couldn't because we were in a hospital.

Edward grunted loudly as I tightened around him. My body was shaking and sweating as I gripped tightly to the table as I tried not to orgasm. It was hard. Edward grunts were turning into growls as I continued to squeeze against him. Apparently he was having just as hard time trying not to orgasm as I was.

"Edward," I tried to moan softly, but it sounded like I was being strangled. "Oh god Edward." I attempted at a moan again. "I don't think I can hold on anymore."

"Cum for me Bella." Edward used my words against me.

I cupped my fingers around my mouth as my back came off of the examination table and my eyes squinted shut. I was screaming, very loudly, into my hand, as my body shook violently. Edward stopped thrusting into me. Instead he started to rub my clitoris, making me go over the edge for a second time. I stopped breathing as I gripped tightly to my mouth. My body was at a standstill, I was so stiff that I felt like I had rigor mortis.

"Shit," Edward finally released into me.

My body suddenly loosened and my back fell back onto the examination table. My breath came out in short gasps and my hands lay motionless at my side. Edward was leaning forward as he tried to catch his breath, which was ironic considering that he didn't have to breathe. My heart was beating strongly in my chest as my body tried to gather enough energy to be able to pull myself off the table and grab my clothes.

"I win," Edward boasted right after he kissed my cheek. "It's officially two to one, now."

**End Chapter.**

**A/N:** Not as hot as teacher and student. Sorry. Ya'll are going to like the next chapter though. I was half way through this chapter when I got the idea. I already wrote the first part of it. I'll probably work on the second part after I finish updating _Coffin of Love_ and _All the Pretty Corpses_ or if you guys review as much as you did for the last chapter (thank you so much by the way). So the rumors are true. Jayeliwood and I are currently banding forces and coming up with a fairytale that we will both write. We are currently working on the outline, characters, and trying to figure out how we're going to write it together because we both have two completely different writing styles, and I can't talk old fashion, it's like impossible for me. So keep an eye out for information on that. Don't forget to vote in my poll and vote for me in the _Twilight_ Awards (link on my profile).

Daddy's Little Cannibal


	11. Cherry Popsicles

**A/N:** Wahoo! I have 900 reviews. Thank you so much my homies. I finally got to update this story. Yay! Sorry it's been a hectic week. So y'all have been asking for this and I've been avoiding it. I didn't want to make it too out of character so I wrote this the best I could. It was really awkward for me. By the way, I am very, very proud of the gummy worm idea in this chapter. I came up with all by myself! And no, I've never tried it before. I don't like popsicles.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own _Twilight_.

**Bella:** 1  
**Edward: **2

**Cherry Popsicles  
**_"Have nothing on Edward Cullen"_

I banged my head against the freezer. I knew I shouldn't have asked Emmett for help. I knew that I should have swallowed my pride and accepted defeat, let Edward win this 'contest' that we have going on. I mean I have the rest of eternity to learn how to do these things. But my ego was tired of being bruised and I went to Emmett once again.

"Just pick a box. I don't care which."I pulled my forehead on my away from the freezer and rested my cheek against it instead. Emmett was holding two boxes of popsicles in his hand as he considered which one to buy.

"What's your favorite flavor?" Emmett asked putting one box back and pulling out another one. I didn't say anything. He turned towards me and rolled his eyes. "You're still not embarrassed by this, aren't you?"

"You're used to talking freely about sex." I whispered harshly at him. "I'm not." I pushed my hands to my chest.

"You'll get over it." He turned around and held up two yellow boxes. "Now what's your favorite flavor?"

I looked at the boxes. One was filled with only fudge popsicles and the other was filled with various flavors. I considered it for a moment. I was never much of a popsicle person so I didn't really have a preference. I stepped forward and grabbed the one with the various flavors. At least then I would have eight different flavors to choose from.

"Let's go." I told Emmett as I started to walk off. He grabbed my arm and spun me around.

"We're not done yet." He put the other box into the freezer and dragged me down the aisle.

"Where are you taking me?" I asked, wide-eyed.

He turned around and smiled. "I ordered something for you and we need to pick it up."

"What did you order for me?" I screamed at him as I tried to pull my hand out of his hand.

"You'll see."

I didn't want to see.

--

After reading several print outs that Emmett had printed out for me and finished digesting three different flavored popsicles. I had an idea of what I was in for and I was ready, if Edward could do those things to me than there was no doubt in my mind that I could do it to him. It was all about confidence and I was pretty sure I could fake confidence.

"Wow." I wasn't able to hide my shock as I walked into Edward's room. It was filled with candles, rose pedals, and light fragrances. My mouth fell open and I sat my bag of goodies by the door. Emmett had really out done himself this time. I picked up my bag again and ran to the side of Edward's bed. I was hoping that I could find away to get these items when Edward was occupied with other things.

I was already in my outfit and all I had to do was wait for Edward to come home from hunting. Apparently this is when he's the happiest. According to Emmett Edward has been leaving early due to the stress of being away from me. He annoys the hell of his family. I left a note on my bed telling him to meet me here.

"Ok," I mumbled to myself as I looked around the room. Everything was set up. All I had to do was wait for Edward. I sat on the edge of the bed and looked at my hand where I wrote down tips. I wasn't sure I was cheating or not, but what Edward didn't know won't hurt him. I mentally checked them off in my head as I tried to envision me doing it. I blushed, the visions were embarrassing.

The door opened. I arched my back and crossed my legs so it looked like I was waiting for him. Edward walked into the room with wide eyes. I smiled at him and curled the tip of my finger so he could walk towards me. I pulled myself off the bed so I could meet him half way. He took off his shirt for me and smiled.

"This is new." Edward ran his fingers over the fabric of my baby blue bra.

"You cheated," I smiled at him. He raised an eyebrow. "When you said those three words," I put my hands around his chest and moved us so his back was facing the bed. "You said that we couldn't those three words. They were against the rules."

"I still won." Edward smiled.

"But you cheated."

"Doesn't matter." Edward's smile didn't falter.

"That's what I hoped you would say." I pushed at his chest but he didn't move, so I pushed harder, he didn't even flinch. "Could you at least attempt to act human for once?" I growled at him. He laughed at me. I set my hands on his chest and put all my weight into my forearms. Edward didn't stumble either. "Fine," I screamed. "Just stand there."

Edward fell back onto the bed.

"I hate you," I growled at him.

He scooted to the middle of the bed so he looked like a half naked god surrounded by rose petals. I smiled at him as I crawled onto the bed and join him. I straddled his chest with my knees and started to kiss him. He wrapped his arms around my back and started to unclasp my bra. I opened my eyes to see that his eyes were closed, they were. Without moving my lips from his, I strained my neck to try and look at my hand, where I had written my notes, to make sure I was doing everything right.

I moved my hands over his chest and pulled my mouth away from his. I started to kiss along his jaw line, neck, chest, and anywhere else on his upper body that I could reach at the moment. Edward moaned loudly and started to grunt as I kissed his erect nipple. He finally, after many attempts, was able to unclasp my bra and pull it away from my chest.

"Good job Edward." I teased when I pulled away from. Edward leaned forward to do what he usually did when he got my bra off. I put my hand on his chest and shook my head. "Not today.

Edward fell back onto the bed and frowned. I smiled at him and went back to making out with his chest. My hands ran over his side and arms as I gently massaged his cold skin. I was purposely avoiding the special part of the male body. The print outs Emmett gave me said to save that for last. I pulled away from Edward's chest and kissed his lips for the last time tonight. He wrapped his arms around my back and pushed me closer to him. He was ready.

I pulled away and smiled at him. "Ready?" I asked. He smiled back and nodded. His hands left my back and he wrapped his fingers in the waistband of my panties. I grabbed his wrists and shook my head. Edward frowned at me. "If you can cheat," I leaned over to the edge of the bed and reached into my bag of goodies. "Then so I can I." I showed him the bottle the bottle that Emmett had ordered for me.

"That's cheating," Edward stated the obvious.

"Oh I know." I smiled at him. I crawled off of his chest with the warming gel.

"Bella don't." Edward pulled his back away from bed.

I turned towards him and frowned. "Why?" I asked.

"I don't want you to do anything that you don't want to do." Edward's eyes were narrowing at me.

I rolled my eyes and grabbed his face between my hands, unfortunately I didn't think about dropping the warming gel so it was my hand, Edward's face, Warming Cherry Flavored Intimacy Gel, and then my other hand. "I want to do it though." And for once, I was trying to convince him more than me. I had already convinced myself that I wanted to do this. In fact I was excited to try with Edward. "Now lie down and stop complaining." I pushed lightly on his chest before turning my attention to the lower half of Edward's body.

I moved my body so I was between Edward's legs. I unbuttoned his pants and pulled down the zipper. I could already see the bulge in his boxers. I snapped open the top of the bottle I was holding in my hands and I pulled down the waistband of his boxers to reveal is erect manhood. Before I poured the liquid into my hand, I looked over my notes one last time.

I poured the cherry flavored 'intimacy gel' into my hand. Just like I had expected it was warm (and kind of sticky). I wrapped my fingers around Edward' manhood and gently rubbed my hand up and down. Edward let out a loud groan and started to clutch tightly to the sheets under him. I smiled to myself.

I was doing better than I had thought I would. It was still a little awkward but you know what, this was my future husband, I should be able to pleasure him without feeling like I was doing something wrong. Besides it was kind of an ego trip for me to know that I had some control over Edward.

"Is it warm?" I asked looking up at Edward. He was nodding his head vigorously while he bit his bottom lip. I took that as a yes and smiled to myself. I continued to stroke him with my right hand and glanced at my left hand, where I had written my notes. The 'intimacy gel' had smeared the pen so I couldn't make out what I had written. The best I could do was go on impulse and memory.

I poured more warming onto his manhood and continued to apply it to the sensitive area (I read that on the bottle). Edward was gripping tightly to the sheet and groaning, I had feeling if I didn't act soon, he would cum sooner than I wanted him to. _Just like a cherry popsicle_. I thought to myself as I licked the head of his manhood.

It was like licking cherry popsicle with a hint of salt in it. It wasn't that bad but it's not something that I would crave either. When I was practicing earlier Emmett told to put gummy worms on the popsicle I was practicing on so it would feel more like Edward's manhood (the gummy worms were supposed to be his veins). I have to say that the gummy worms, though as tasty as they were, didn't do it justice and kind of made it awkward because they kept on falling off.

"Bella," Edward groaned. I wrapped my still lubed hand around his package and started to gently massage it as I licked his head (the bottom one not the top). I had no idea what I was doing. I wrote it down on hand but it had faded away so I just pretended it was a salty popsicle – covered in non eatable gummy worms.

I decided to circle my tongue around him as I licked away the warming gel. Edward seemed to like it. He kept on moving his feet and clutched onto the blankets. I read that men don't usually last this long their first time, but I had feeling since Edward was a vampire and because we've been sexually active for awhile that he had built up his stamina.

"Bella," Edward groaned. "I'm about to cum."

So much building up his stamina. So I had choice. I could pull away and stroke it or I could linger and accept it. I think I knew what I was going to do.

**End Chapter.**

**A/N: Don't ask! I'm not going to tell you! You can think whatever you want, it's up to you!** A lot of cool things to talk about! For one, if you're a fan of this story check out my new one-shot series called _Awkward Conversations_, the second chapter is based off of something in this story that I think y'all would absolutely love. I have just found out that I am on over seven hundred people's favorite author list, so that is quite _amazing_. Three more of my stories (_Look Alike_, _Fifty Cents a Ride_, and _Sex Education with Emmett_)have been translated to Portuguese (link is on my profile). WLGYL is currently winning the poll. I thought that it was funny that this story was winning than out of nowhere WLGYL took the lead. And last but not least (told you I had a lot to talk about) Jayeliwood and I are currently working on the first chapter to our new fairytale. More details will be released soon. Review!

Daddy's Little Cannibal


	12. Erotic Conversations

**A/N:** So I make a reference to _Talk Dirty for Me_. It's a porn movie that consist of John Leslie (I think that's his name) a man who makes women want to sleep with him by talking dirty to them. I have personally never seen it but I read about it when I was looking up how 'how to talk dirty' (a lot of interesting websites out there). And I thought that was worth mentioning. Especially since that movie really brought dirty talking into the main stream. I don't know how well I did with this. Believe it or not I don't read many lemons on fanfiction. I'm sorry if this has been done a million and one times over again. I can honestly say that I've never read a lemon where Edward talked dirty but I don't read many lemons.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own _Twilight_.

**Bella:** 1**  
Edward: **3

**Erotic Conversations**

"I lost." I growled at Emmett as I paced in front of my bed. Charlie wasn't home and Edward was with Alice doing wedding things so it was just me and Emmett.

"How the hell did you lose?" Emmett asked pulling his back off of my mattress.

I turned to him and grimaced. "He tricked me!" I screamed at him. "When I was trying to figure out whether or not to, you know, he flipped me over and assaulted me." I sat on the edge of the bed and rested my head in my hands. "And I liked it." I mumbled the last part.

"Man, he's better at this than I thought."

I lifted my head and looked at him. "It's getting pathetic how human I am." I lamented.

"Yeah," Emmett agreed as he pulled himself off the bed. "You don't stand a chance. It's like you challenging me to an arm wrestling contest." He laughed.

"You're not helping," I glared at him.

"Talk dirty to him." Emmett sat next to me on the mattress. I looked up at him in shock. "It's not that hard. Just tell him the things that you want to do to him or the things that you want him to do to you."

"Does that work?" I asked.

"Have you ever heard of the porn movie _Talk Dirty to Me_?" Emmett asked. I shook my head. "It's a famous porn movie that started the trend for talking dirty during sex. The lead 'actor' John Leslie starts to talk 'dirty' to a bunch of ladies who originally didn't want to have sex with him but due to his erotic language, they drop all their guards and proceed to –"

"I get it." I interrupted Emmett before he went into details. "So you want me to talk dirty to Edward?

"Is it against any rules?" Emmett raised an eyebrow.

"Not any that I know of." I smiled at him.

"Then I see nothing wrong with it." Emmett clapped his hands together. "I'll buy the movie for you so you have something to go off of."

"No!" I jumped in the air. "I'm not watching a porn movie!" I screamed at him.

"You licked a popsicle with gummy worms on it." Emmett raised an eyebrow. "But you won't watch a porn movie."

"Porn's disgusting!" I screamed at him.

"Well don't think of it as porn," Emmett got off of my bed. "Think of it as an educational video with naked people in it." He patted my shoulder before walking to my door.

"Where am I supposed to watch it?" I growled at him.

"I don't know." Emmett shrugged. "Use Edward's laptop or something."

I opened my mouth and closed it. There was no way I was going to win this argument. "Fine," I gave in.

--

I closed my eyes and turned my head away from the screen. I had never seen anyone do that to someone before. There was no way that was humanly possible. The loud screams of the 'actors' were echoing from the headphones that were plugged into Edward's laptop. I was waiting for Edward to come home with Alice. Emmett dropped me off at the house so I could watch the porn he had downloaded (illegally) for me.

"Harder," One of the girls screamed. I pressed my hands into my face and blushed. It was awkward and the movie was really gross and loud. I had never heard anyone scream like that before. It sounded like he was torturing her. I kind of hoped that I hadn't ever sounded like that.

"What are we watching?" Edward asked behind me.

My mouth fell open and I jumped on Edward's laptop, in the process pulling out the headphones, so even though the screen was out of his view the loud screams of the actors were now coming from the speakers of the laptop. I was still for a second and blushed. I didn't know what to do, my first reaction was to slam the laptop against the wall till it died but I didn't think Edward would enjoy that too much.

"Nothing," I squeaked. "How are you doing Edward?" I screamed as I laid over his laptop muffling the screams of the girls and the loud groan of the man that was telling them everything that they were doing to him. "Did you and Alice have fun?" I continued to talk loudly.

"So you like it when people talk dirty?" Edward asked.

"No," I lied shaking my head. Edward's smile didn't fade as he moved closer to me. "Please don't do this to me Edward." I begged. "You won last time and the time before that. Seriously! How many times do you need to win?" I didn't loosen my grip on the laptop.

"Do you like what I do to you Bella?" Edward whispered in my ear. His hand moved my hair behind my shoulder. "Does it make you," he licked my ear. "Wet?"

"This was supposed to be my thing." I complained. "I was the one that was supposed to talk dirty and you were supposed to –"

Edward started to nip at my ear as his hand rested on my neck. Goosebumps crawled down my body as I shuddered. I was already in the mood because of the movie and there was no way, especially with Edward talking dirty, that I could last very long. I was already speechless with him nibbling on my ear. My shoulders tightened. I swallowed loudly.

"Are you wet?" Edward asked. His hand left my neck and crawled down the front of my shirt. I was still gripping tightly to the laptop so I could only imagine how hard it must have been for him to squeeze his hand between the tight space.

"You are wet." Edward's fingers slipped into my womanhood. I nodded. Edward chuckled darkly in my ear. "Does my Bella like it when I touch her here?"

I didn't say or do anything.

"I asked you a question Bella." Edward pushed another finger into me.

"I like it," I breathed.

"C'mon Bella." Edward chuckled. "You're the one that wants to talk dirty." He kissed the back of my neck. "So talk dirty."

"I like it when you touch my womanhood." I blushed violently.

"Is that what they call it these days?" Edward asked removing his fingers from me. "Womanhood?"

I nodded.

"Because I thought," He wrapped his arm around my waist. "They called it a _pussy_."

My mouth dropped open. I had never heard Edward say that before in my life and I could feel my body react to his words. He was much better at this than I could have ever imagined.

"Let go of my laptop Bella." Edward ordered. I did as he had said. "Now lie down."

"You're going to win aren't you?" I asked as I moved away from the laptop and lied across his bed.

Edward smiled at me. "Yes." He nodded as he dropped the laptop onto the floor. "But you'll like it." He reassured me as he crawled on top of me. I didn't have any doubt about the last part…or the first part.

"Now where was I?" Edward asked placing his hands on my hips.

"You were going to let me go." I lied.

"Nice try." Edward shook his head. "I think we were talking about your pussy."

"Now I get the movie." I mumbled through a blush.

Edward chuckled. "Tell me about the movie Bella." He whispered in my ear. His cold hand went under my shirt and started to rub my stomach. "Tell me all the naughty things they did in it?"

"Um…"I blushed biting my lip. "They had a lot of sex."

"Really?" Edward asked.

I nodded.

"Hmm…"His throat vibrated. I shivered. "Tell me more." His hands grabbed my breasts through the bra. "I want to know all about it."

"They were loud." I offered. Edward pulled my bra over my breasts and started to lick at my neck. I swallowed the lump in my throat and blushed.

"What else?" Edward asked when I didn't say anything.

"I don't know," I admitted. "I didn't really watch much of the movie."

"Well," Edward removed his hands from under my shirt. "I guess we could watch it together."

"No!" I screamed.

Edward smirked. "You can watch it by yourself but you can't watch it with your fiancé?"

"What do you mean watch it by myself?" I screamed at him. "Didn't you see me? I had my eyes closed the whole time."

Edward chuckled. "I thought you were enjoying the sweet sounds of the –"

"No." I shook my head interrupting him.

"You're so cute when you want sex." Edward smiled at me.

"This was supposed to be my thing." I started to complain. Edward's smile didn't falter. "You did this to me last time to," I continued to vent. "It was supposed to be your night." I pulled my finger and started to poke at his chest – which was covered by a shirt. "But you had to ruin the moment by tricking me and then assaulting me."

"That was assault?" Edward raised an eyebrow. "Because you seemed to like it."

"That's not the point!" I growled at him. "You keep taking advantage of me."

"Ok," Edward sighed. "I promise to stop taking advantage of you." I smiled at him. "After the contest is over." Edward added quickly.

I groaned. "You really want that second honeymoon, don't you?" I growled at him.

Edward nodded. "And I like taking advantage of you." He pecked my lips before pulling off his shirt. I hated the process of taking off clothes during intimate moments. It took far too much time and it was kind of aggravating.

"I'll make this easier for us." I told Edward as I leaned up. I pulled my shirt over my head and started to unclasp my bra.

Edward frowned at me. "I wanted to do that." He sighed. I pulled my hands away from the clasp and held them out the side of me. Edward smiled at me and started to unclasp my bra for me.

"How about if we-"

"No Bella," Edward shot down my idea before I could even finish my sentence. I huffed and fell back onto his bed when he had finished unclasping my bra. He pulled the straps away from my shoulder and smiled down at me. "So where were we?" He asked again.

I stared up at him blankly. I was going to give him the silent treatment through the whole thing. He was going to get no verbal response from me. No matter what he did or how good it felt. It was going to be like having sex with a blow up doll.

"You're not going to talk to me, are you?" Edward caught on quickly. I shook my head. Edward grinned. "Well I guess I'll have to do the talking than." He placed his cold hands on my breast and started to circle my nipples with his thumb.

"Dirty talking," Edward pondered. "I haven't heard much about it." Edward admitted. "But I've lived in a house filled with couples for a little less than a century, so I have an idea how it works."

I almost felt sorry for Edward. He lived in a house filled with sexually active couples most of his existence, while not having someone to practice similar things with. But he was making up for it now. Boy was he making up for it now.

He put his lips onto my nipple as started to lick it up. My shoulders tensed and my eyes shot open. It was really hard to be quiet. I could feel my body react to every movement he was making with his cold tongue. My body started to shake as I forced the moans back into my throat. It was starting to physically hurt to not to scream.

He removed his mouth from my nipple and started to blow on it. I let in a sharp breath and lifted my back off the bed. Edward pushed me back down and continued to blow at my chest. So in attempt not to scream at him, I closed my eyes and banged my head against his pillow. He stopped blowing on my nipple but decided to repeat the actions he had just made on my other.

"Do you like this Bella?" Edward asked. I shook my head. He smiled. "Do you like it when I blow on your nipples and make them hard? You're making me hard."

I squeezed my eyes shut and started to wish away the excitement that was building up down below. My hands were gripping tightly to the sheets and I was starting to drool. I had never been so aroused in my life. I blamed the movie and Edward's sudden interest in erotic conversations.

He started to unbutton my blue jeans. I opened my eyes and stared at him. He was smiling at me. "I'm going to make you feel so good Bella," Edward continued to arouse me. "I'll make you scream my name."

I shook my head.

Edward nodded. "Oh you'll scream my name," Edward chuckled. "You'll scream it so loud that you won't be able to talk for a week."

I couldn't explain it. I felt like the girls in the porn movie Emmett made me watch. There was something about the way that Edward was talking that was just so attractive that I couldn't help but want to jump on him and let him do whatever he wanted to me. Not that I didn't always feel like that when I was with him but it was being intensified.

I closed my lips and twisted my fingers on the side of my mouth, telling that I was going to keep my mouth shut. Edward grinned at me and forced my blue jeans down my legs. When my pants were somewhere around his room he started to unbutton his own pants. My eyes widened when I saw the growing. I smiled. Maybe I could win this.

"Is that gun in your boxers or are you just happy to see me?" I asked, blushing.

Edward looked at me. "So you finally decided to join this conversation." He smiled.

My blush deepened.

Edward pulled his pants down his legs so we were both in underwear. I smiled at him as I thought of something clever to say. Nothing came to mind. The gun joke was the cutest remark that I could think of. I kept an eye on Edward as he pulled down my panties. He was staring at my face curiously.

"Is something wrong?" He asked.

I bit my lip and shook my head.

Edward chuckled. He pulled off his boxers next and positioned himself at my entrance. My breath instantly got heavy. He entered in me slowly. A loud groan came out of my mouth as my hips rose up in the air. Edward pushed them back down. I squeezed my eyes shut as he finished pushing himself into me.

"You feel so good Bella." Edward whispered huskily in my ear. I blushed and looked around my brain for a good response. I was never the one to ever say anything crude but if I was going to win I would have to step away from my comfort zone.

"Your penis feels good inside my vagina." I mumbled awkwardly.

Edward snorted which quickly turned into a loud laughter. His body shook as his head dropped as he tried to hide his laughter. It was to know success. I blushed and stared awkwardly at the ceiling. I had never been more embarrassed before in my life. After all I been through the last couple of weeks, Edward had never laughed at me like this before.

"I'm sorry," Edward finally choked out. "Just please don't say that _ever_ again." He started to laugh again

"I suck at this." I grimaced.

"It's not that." Edward snorted out. "It's just the way you said it. You need to loosen up." He rubbed my arms. "Don't be afraid to use non clinical terms." He chuckled again. He kissed my nose before starting a steady rhythm.

"Edward," I moaned out. Edward leaned down and started to suck at my neck. I swallowed loudly.

"You're so tight." He whispered huskily. "And so wet. It's so hot." He licked the area behind my ear.

I put my hands behind his back and dug my nails into his skin. "Harder," I whispered. Edward thrust in me with a fraction more force. I knew that he was afraid to hurt me. "Harder," I encouraged.

"God Bella." Edward moaned out.

"You're better than a popsicle." I decided to be braver and more creative with my erotic talk. Edward groaned. "Sometimes I lick cherry popsicles and pretend – I can't do this." I quickly changed my sentence and blushed.

Edward chuckled against my neck. "Mm…Bella." He kissed my cheek as he quickened his pace. He was close.

"You're making me so wet Edward." I decided to go with the usual. "I love what you do to me and I hope you never stop. Keep going Edward." I moved one of my hands and grabbed onto his neck.

"God Bella," Edward groaned. "I don't know if I can last much longer."

"You're doing it Edward." I encouraged. "You're making me feel so good." I moaned loudly.

"Fuck," Edward groaned as his body started to shake.

I let myself go off the edge soon after him. My body started to shake and my hips started to pull off of his bed. Edward grunted and I could hear the sheets rip next to me. I dug my nails deeper into his back and closed my mouth. I had stopped breathing and I'm pretty sure my face looked like I was constipated.

"Wow," Edward rolled off of me. My body went limp and I couldn't move my mouth so I just nodded. Edward chuckled softly next to me and grabbed my hand. "You win."

"Yes," I sighed in relief.

**End Chapter.**

**A/N:** I know they're pretty OOC. But I couldn't get them to talk dirty without making him OOC. I had a lot of fun with it. So that makes it 3– 2. Wonder who will win? A poll is going up on my profile. You can vote for who you'd like to see win but I'm not promising that person will win. I already know who I want to win. I'm just curious who y'all want to win. I'll try to update this story sooner but personal life and _Breaking Dawn_ are interfering with my life. If you want to keep yourself entertained until this story is updated again check out my other stories (new story is up! It's called _Imagination Land_). Thanks for reading and help me get to 1k!

Daddy's Little Cannibal


	13. The Delivery God

**A/N:** **This is the last chapter.** I know, most of y'all are crushed. But I had to drop a story and _Coffin of Love_ is almost finished and _Beautiful Disaster_ and _Imagination Land_ have just started. So I chose this story, this is the last chapter and I hope that you guys aren't too crushed. I was completely clueless what I was going to do with this chapter then I got a PM from **Blue – Hate Jack** and he mentioned a pizza boy and a hot chick. So I was like, this is perfect.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own _Twilight_.

**Bella: **2  
**Edward:** 3

**The Delivery God  
**_Pizza, anyone?_

"Your penis feels good in my vagina." Emmett laughed out.

I banged my head my on the pillow that was on my lap. Apparently the whole house heard us last night and Emmett was making it his duty to quote every funny and awkward thing I said. Edward promised me that he has said much worst but it didn't take away from the embarrassment.

"Shut up," I growled.

"Oh wait what about when –" I didn't listen to what else Emmett had to say, I shoved the pillow over my head, held it close to my ears and started to hum softly to myself.

"I came to you for a reason." I finally growled at him. Emmett's booming laugh couldn't be covered by the pillow or the humming. When he was done laughing I looked up at him and blush. "I need another idea."

"You're still going at it?" Emmett sounded shock.

I blushed and nodded.

"Damn," He had somehow made the word 'damn' a two syllable word. I bit my lip and buried my head back into my pillow. "Can you even walk?" Emmett continued.

I pulled my face away from the pillow and stared at him in shock. "Of course I can walk!" I didn't mean to squeak but I had little control over my voice right now.

Emmett started laughing again.

"I'm going home." I yelled, blushing. "At least Charlie doesn't make fun of me." I uncrossed my legs and pulled myself off the couch.

"If he heard you last night he would." Emmett shot back at me.

--

I had to order pizza. Charlie was staying late at the station and I hadn't been able to go grocery shopping, due to the craziness of the wedding. It was narrowed down to pizza or Chinese food and I decided that pizza was the lesser of the two evils. At least Charlie would have something to come home to when he got back from work.

The door bell rang, signaling that the delivery boy was here. I grabbed the money Charlie left for me by the phone in the hallway and walked towards the door. I hated answering the door for delivery boys. It was always so awkward, you never know what to say to them, so you just stand there awkwardly as you gave them your money and they gave your food.

I opened the door and let out a strangle scream. I dropped the money and quickly grabbed onto my heart.

"13.55." The delivery _god_ that looked Edward told me through a grin.

"Edward?" I choked out, staring at the delivery god that was dressed in a blue greased stain Dominos shirt, a Dominos baseball hat, and black slacks.

"How did you know my name?" The delivery god asked, frowning at me.

"Lucky guess," I lied. "Would you like to come in?" I stepped out the doorway and gesture him in.

"I don't know ma'am." The delivery god frowned.

I could feel what little ego I had crumble at the word _ma'am._

"I have to go back to work," He glanced at his shiny Volvo with a Dominos sign on top of it.

"It won't take long." I lied again.

The delivery god nodded once as he walked into the house. I picked up the money I had dropped on the floor and followed after him into the kitchen. He was sitting on one of the chairs smiling at me.

"Would you like something to eat?" I gestured at the pizza.

"Oh I'm starving." The delivery god smiled at me. Edward was good at keeping up appearances.

"Well help yourself." I smiled at him as I walked to the cupboard to get a plate.

"Oh I will," the voice was closer than I expected.

My eyes widened and my shoulders stiffened as a pair of arms wrapped themselves around my waist. Someone was breathing on my neck. I turned around to see the delivery god smiling at me. I bit my lip.

"Can I help you?" I tried to sound innocent.

"You said to help myself," His hand went up my shirt and traced and started to rub my stomach. "So I am."

The delivery god started to kiss my neck, sending several shivers down my spine and goose bumps on my skin. His grip tightened around my waist as his other hand went up my shirt, this time crawling up my back so he could unclasp my bra.

"I'm about to get married." My voice was breathless. He was _really_ good.

"Looks like we have something in common." He pulled his hand away from my stomach and showed me the engagement ring on his ring finger on his left hand. I couldn't help to smile, we had been arguing about whether or not Edward should by a wedding band or not. "I won't tell her if you won't tell him."

I giggled softly and turned around so I was facing my delivery god. "I knew I should have gotten the stuffed crust." I smiled at him.

"What?" Edward asked raising an eyebrow, he was laughing at me.

I blushed. "Don't laugh at me. I was trying to sound sexy."

"Stuffed crust?" Edward asked through fits of laughter.

"I don't know, it sounded sexy in my head." I looked at the floor of the kitchen.

"I love you Bella," Edward chuckled wrapping his strong arms around me.

"I suck at this," I grimaced.

I could feel Edward move his head up in down in agreement. I rolled my eyes and blush. Who was I kidding? I should have never agreed to do this with Edward. It was like me challenging Emmett to an arm wrestling contest. I may have gotten _lucky_ a few times but in the end, I was going to get lose.

"You win," I finally sighed out.

Edward pulled away from me and frowned. "What?" He asked.

"You win this little war between us. I'll go on a second honeymoon with you." I was sure the disappointment in my voice was obvious.

Edward's eyes narrowed. "Is this some kind of method to trick me into getting comfortable and then out of nowhere you attack me?" He sounded hopeful.

I shook my head. "I can't win." I finally sighed out. "You're actually that good."

Edward's ego grew three sizes that day. He smiled and pecked my lips. "Thank you Bella." He kissed my lips again.

"So, who did you eat to get this uniform?" I pulled at his sleeve.

"No one," Edward didn't look at me. "I'm the new delivery boy."

It was my turn to laugh. I couldn't imagine what the other customers would think when they saw the delivery god drop off their pizza for them.

"And surprisingly," Edward continued. "You're not the first person to invite me inside."

I frowned. "How long have you been working at Dominos?"

"Two hours."

I grimaced. I didn't like that. I knew that Edward wouldn't do anything and probably turned them down but it still made me jealous. I bit my lip as a familiar feeling was starting to rise within me. Hearing about Edward getting hit on was actually turning me on.

"I have to go back to work." Edward broke me out of my thoughts.

My eyes snapped to him. He was stuffing his shirt back into his pants and straightening his hat.

"What do you mean you have to work?" I asked anxiously.

"Well since we've confirmed that I already won this little contest that we're having, there's really no need for me to be here." Edward informed me as he started to turn around to walk away from me.

"No you don't," I screamed as I grabbed his arm. "You're finishing what you've started."

Edward raised an eyebrow at me. "I started something?" He didn't hide his confusion.

I rolled my eyes. "On the table," I ordered. "Make sure to move the pizza, that's Charlie's dinner."

Edward didn't question me. He did exactly as I told him. He put the pizza on the counter top and lied on top of the table, the whole time he was grinning to himself. I blushed, realizing just how out of character that was for me. But he was about to walk out on me, right when things were getting interesting. I didn't care if we had that stupid rule about no sex in Charlie's house. If I was going to lose, I was going to lose with a bang.

I pulled my shirt over my head and started to unbutton my pants. I didn't want to mess around with clothes. I wanted it now. I thought about pulling my panties down with my blue jeans but I would let Edward do that.

"Would you like me to take my clothes off?" Edward asked from the table.

"You don't have to ask my permission." I frowned at him.

"Really?" Edward sounded disappointed.

I bit my lip."I'm not very good at bossing people around." I fought back a grimace.

"You seem to be doing ok with me." I couldn't see Edward but I had a feeling he was smiling.

"You can take off your clothes," I finally answered his question.

"I can?" Edward asked.

"You will." I corrected myself. I felt silly for ordering Edward around but I had to admit it was kind of empowering.

He leaned up so he was sitting on the table instead of lying on it. He took off his Dominos hat and than his shirt. I turned away and took a deep breath. I had to be confident and I had to want to do this. It couldn't be that hard, I was just telling Edward what to do. It was like asking, except I was ordering.

I turned back to Edward when I was sure he was naked. He was naked, completely naked. I mentally banged my head. I wish I had told him to keep his boxers on. I walked over to the table and climbed on top of it. Edward had his hands behind his head and grinned at me. He was waiting patiently for me to show him what I had in store for him.

I pressed my lips onto his and wrapped my fingers into his hair. He kissed back with just as much force, opening his mouth to lick my bottom lip. I opened my mouth to let his tongue battle mine. My fingers tightened in his hair and I pushed my mouth closer to his.

"Don't touch me." I growled at him when his hand grabbed my boob.

"But-" Edward started.

"No," I shook my head as I moved my knee on the other side of his stomach so I could straddle him. "You have to go back to work. And I'm not going to let you get fire on your first day."

"Bella," Edward sighed. "I'm pretty sure that I'm going to get fired either way. I've been here for awhile."

"But you're my delivery god." I smiled at him, running my fingers through his hair. "You're going to get us through our existence by delivering pizza to lonely house wives."

Edward chuckled softly to himself. "Alright," He agreed."We'll make this quick."

"Not quick," I snapped at him. "But we can't take long."

Edward smiled at me. "What are you going to do about these?" He asked, snapping the elastic on my panties.

I smiled back at him and leaned close to his ear. "Take them off." I ordered biting his earlobe.

He ripped them off, literally. He pulled at the elastic of my panties till it the fabric ripped. My eyes widened and I slapped his chest. He just smiled at me as he held my ripped black panties in his hand.

"I'm keeping this for later." He informed me bunching them into a tight ball and setting it by his head.

I was too turned on to stay mad at him. I grabbed his face between my hands and forced my lips onto his as he helped me position myself over his manhood. This was a good position for when I wanted to be control. He lowered me slowly onto him. My eyes widened and I let out a very loud moan. I tried to think of something sexy to say but everything I could think of was just as cheesy as the pizza he had brought for me.

"Help me Edward." I ordered. "Help me please you."

I started to grind against Edward as he helped me set a reasonable pace. My knees were digging into the wood of the table but I didn't care. Edward was hitting things that I didn't even know existed. I let out a loud scream and I could feel my body spasm, it wasn't an orgasm but it defiantly felt good.

"You've been practicing," I accused him. He had always been good but he had somehow gotten better.

"I did some research," Edward admitted between moans, apparently he was enjoying this just as much as I was.

I wanted to respond to it, but I couldn't do anything but moan. My nails dug into his chest as my breath turned into gasps. I closed my eyes and tried to focus on breathing. My body was tightening around him, making Edward grunt loudly.

"Oh God Bella." Edward gasped, his fingers dug into my waist. I knew that he was going to leave bruises but I didn't care. "You have no idea how good this feels."

"Shut up," I ordered as I latched onto his shoulders and pulled him closer to me.

My lips found his and I wrapped my arms around his head, so he couldn't move. My body tightened around him and I started to shake. Edward pulled away and growled. His body started to shake to as he released in me. My grip tightened around him and buried my head into his shoulder. He had somehow sent me into a second orgasm.

"Shit," Edward growled.

I smiled and started to pet his hair. "I know," I whispered. "It was awesome." I nibbled on his earlobe.

"No Bella –" Edward's voice was frantic.

"Bella," Charlie's voice echoed through the house as the sound of the door opened. "I'm home!"

"SHIT!" I screamed loudly.

**End.**

**A/N:** Sorry to end it so abruptly. I had to end it today or else it would never get updated. Besides, I was running out of ideas and I was getting tired of writing about sex. I won't post anymore sex stories for a little while. I wrote this story too close to _When Life Gives You Lemons_ and so I quickly burned out on it. It's easy for me to burn out on lemons because it's so repetitive. I promise to write one-shots periodically with lemons in them (so add to author alerts, please). And thank you for (hopefully) being understanding and I hope that this lemon didn't suck too badly, I hadn't read a lemon in awhile so, I'm out of touch.

**This is this is the end guys!** I've been getting a lot of reviews telling me to update soon. Sorry, this is the end, beautiful friend, this is the end, my only friend, the end (got to love the Doors). I hope you like it and that you get the joke. The whole point of the story is that they can't have sex in Charlie's house and when they do, they get caught. Or might get caught. I like it. Besides, its more fun this way than any other ending.

**R.I.P. Bernie Mac  
**_1957 – 2008_

Daddy's Little Cannibal


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